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November 8, 2021 8:15 pm  #51


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Helpme25 wrote:

I don’t deserve this.

Helpme,

No, you sure don't. I would strongly encourage you to consult family law attorney(s) near where you are sooner rather than later..  You will know where you stand for custody, legal and financial rights. It will give you a clearer picture of what's ahead of you and decrease stress.

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

he was showing me that he didn't love me in the same way 
and, if I looked back on our life, he had actually held a piece of himself back from me. With the switch flipping on came the realisation that self-preservation was a tool I had to sharpen myself. 

Self-preservation is the most important and positive lesson I've learned from TGT.  I continue to learn to sharpen it. I know you will, too, helpme.
 


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

November 8, 2021 9:32 pm  #52


Re: WHAT DO I DO

MJM017 wrote:

.... I would strongly encourage you to consult family law attorney(s) near where you are sooner rather than later..  You will know where you stand for custody, legal and financial rights. It will give you a clearer picture of what's ahead of you and decrease stress..... 

 

Helpme....whenever I thought about making an appointment, approaching, talking to a lawyer...I would break out in a sweat and look for any reason not to do it. I'd walk past, look at the door....keep walking. Do it again. I was shaking when I went in through the door and sat waiting, thinking surely somebody will see me, know me, what the hell would I say? I was afraid to be found out asking for information about my options and protecting myself. And that's just total bullshit really! to feel like that. 

But let me tell you...when the switch flips and you see your life matters...your strength will come.

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
 

November 9, 2021 5:01 pm  #53


Re: WHAT DO I DO

I’m just at really trying to make it until after Christmas to confront him but it’s so challenging

     Thread Starter
 

November 9, 2021 5:14 pm  #54


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Helpme25 wrote:

I’m just at really trying to make it until after Christmas to confront him but it’s so challenging

Ah yep.....challenge. It will be tough but you can do this, you just have to be stronger than the emotions you're 
feeling about this, about him. Easy to say, harder to do I know. See "after christmas" as a goal and work towards it

Elle
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

November 9, 2021 5:30 pm  #55


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Helpme25 wrote:

I’m just at really trying to make it until after Christmas to confront him but it’s so challenging

Ah yep.....challenge. It will be tough but you can do this, you just have to be stronger than the emotions you're 
feeling about this, about him. Easy to say, harder to do I know. See "after christmas" as a goal and work towards it

Elle
 

Thank you for your encouragement ❤️

     Thread Starter
 

November 9, 2021 5:55 pm  #56


Re: WHAT DO I DO

After the holidays is a great goal.  I hate to sound like a broken record, but it'll give you confidence to confront if you know your rights about custody, finances where you live now.

Your h may try to scare you with lies about divorce laws. My late GIDXH sounded convincing many times, but he was being dishonest. Those in the closet are masters at manipulating facts to continue cheating with men. 🙁

Am thinking good thoughts for you and your child & baby to come. You are a brave person.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

November 9, 2021 6:20 pm  #57


Re: WHAT DO I DO

MJM017 wrote:

After the holidays is a great goal.  I hate to sound like a broken record, but it'll give you confidence to confront if you know your rights about custody, finances where you live now.

Your h may try to scare you with lies about divorce laws. My late GIDXH sounded convincing many times, but he was being dishonest. Those in the closet are masters at manipulating facts to continue cheating with men. 🙁

Am thinking good thoughts for you and your child & baby to come. You are a brave person.

Yes he will try to manipulate and scare me atleast that’s what I feel
Thank you so much (hugs)

     Thread Starter
 

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