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October 8, 2021 4:41 pm  #31

Re: So confused by all the secrets..

I realize this is not an acceptable relationship to me and I’ve been working to get out of it for over year. This has included retaining an attorney (he has done the same), lots of legal bs back and fourth (mostly him trying to paint himself as the victim), and a failed mediation. I feel so trapped. Realizing I’ve been married to a man with a secret closet for almost 14 years is a lot to deal with, and now he seems to be dragging it out and I feel even more trapped. He even said recently “you don’t just get to decide you’re done with your husband.” That’s kind of how marriage works, and he’s been doing his own thing for years, it’s time I had a chance to live my life. Meanwhile he’s spending a great deal of time with a male friend and I NEVER would have thought they were anything more than hunting friends. Now I’m honestly not so sure, it doesn’t matter but why won’t he just move on? Is he scared to be without a beard? I really don’t care if he’s gay/bi I wish he’d just decide to live an honest life, but ultimatley that is up to him. I just want out, desperatley.  It seems like recently the puzzle pieces of my life fell into place realizing he is gay. Especially the mood swings if he couln't meet a "friend", the constant talking to male "friends", seems like it was right infront of my face and I didn't see it. The way he would almost frantically have to get out of the house, and away from me. The lies and he was spending time with a male "friend". When we started the seperation process and I couldn't trust him I stopped having sex with him, that was 18 months ago. Wouldn't a cheater hetero be off with another chick by now? He still wears his wedding ring. He has really no femenine qualities, like steriotypical gay (and he always "couldn't stand men like that). It feels almost unreal. How much therapy is going to be required after this? He sadly will likely deny until he dies.

Last edited by WF2020 (October 8, 2021 5:00 pm)


February 27, 2022 9:23 am  #32

Re: So confused by all the secrets..

My boyfriend does exact same thing. He always stops at places for 5 to 10 mins, goes in woods, i think he has Grindr and is meeting up with men 4 hook ups


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