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September 13, 2021 1:43 pm  #31

Re: is She Gay - Will she ever comeout?

Your notes gave me chills, MJM. I'm so sorry that you had to go through those experiences.

My ex had Borderline Personality Disorder.

In my personal head cannon, I believe the majority of spouses in this forum who take the denial path have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and/or Borderline Personality Disorder. They take great joy in the deceit and manipulation of someone so close to them.


September 13, 2021 5:54 pm  #32

Re: is She Gay - Will she ever comeout?

Thanks, Upside. I am sorry you had to experience this. It never gets better as you know. 

I found out after my ex-h died that he was diagnosed with conduct disorder in grade school. He hit his 4th grade teacher. He went to a psychiatrist and attended an expensive "reform" school for troubled boys.   I wish his parents and siblings warned me before the marriage.

I can understand family members who want to believe they outgrow the issues.  I attended a few meetings of the National Alliance for The Mentally Ill (NAMI) for help with my mom late last year. It's a large and respected organization in the US offering peer support for family members who have mentally ill loved ones. Sorry if a repeat.

Most of the attendees had children with personality disorders who were in therapy. The parents all had goals for their children to attend college and become independent (rising above the disorder. )  Dating's part of that, unfortunately.

Last edited by MJM017 (September 13, 2021 5:54 pm)

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

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