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June 24, 2021 2:28 am  #41


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

DSJane wrote:

.....Loves to penetrate me anally.......

 
You sound like a very highly-sexed woman who thought your r'ship was perfect. Until those 'off' feelings you experienced.?
The nagging feeling will be the best thing that happens because it'll make you start thinking about what you want.

But... It must be so difficult to navigate through this when, even though you might feel your missing out on some intimate  things.... you're actually pretty open to giving him anal ( which as a bisexual is something he's keen on)

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
 

June 25, 2021 9:25 pm  #42


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

"The nagging feeling will be the best thing that happens because it'll make you start thinking about what you want."

Sadly, it's been rather one sided. While I love to find ways to help him enjoy and explore his curiosity, he has shown little interest in exploring my kinks or introducing things that focus on my pleasure.

 

June 25, 2021 10:39 pm  #43


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

DSJane wrote:

"The nagging feeling.....

Sadly, it's been rather one sided. While I love to find ways to help him enjoy and explore his curiosity, he has shown little interest in exploring my kinks or introducing things that focus on my pleasure.

You'll still in the "focus on him" stage. Loving to help him explore his curiosity definitely IS one-sided but it's you who has to realize he'll be loving it to your detriment
If you're determined to save and continue to enhance your marriage maybe you need to get support on the MOM board.

Elle
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

June 28, 2021 4:29 am  #44


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

The Bedroom.

Sex is slightly off somehow. My wife would absolutely refuse to submit in any way whatsoever and had to be “on top” so to speak. Also, it is in the eyes. The way you are regarded by your spouse tells you everything  without saying a single word. It is that “feeling” that is unsettling and difficult to rationalise. I think I will leave it to de Saint-Exupery’s fox in the Little Prince:

“And now here is my secret,
a very simple secret.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly that is essential is invisible to the eye”

That is your gut folks.

Last edited by Ordinary guy (June 29, 2021 12:08 pm)


And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly that which is essential is invisible to the eye.
 

June 29, 2021 12:00 pm  #45


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Ordinary guy wrote:

The way you are regarded by your spouse tells you everything  without saying a single word. It is that “feeling” that is unsettling and difficult to rationalise. I think I will leave it to de Saint-Exupery’s fox in the Little Prince:

“And now here is my secret,
a very simple secret.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly that essential is invisible to the eye”

That is your gut folks.

I love this^^, it’s so very true.


I can almost see it, That dream I'm dreaming...There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move...The Climb - Miley Cyrus
 

June 29, 2021 3:40 pm  #46


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Well said, Ordinary Guy.

Not voicing any sexual desires in 20 years and actively avoiding any physical intimacy. Knowing a great deal about lesbian sex as a teenager in the 90's when that info was exceedingly rare. The implication that she had a relationship with a woman in college, but would never admit it. When she balled uncontrollably after having sex for the first time. Saying porn was disgusting, yet hiding watching women solo. Collecting large binders full of pictures of her female-only celebrity crushes. Having a very specific tomboy-ish type of best friend. The thumb ring she wore on only certain public occasions where this symbol would be noticed. The way she dressed was always hyper formal ironed clothes, which looked manly. The secret "friends" who she would meet at their houses, always mysterious, and that I would never get to see.

When I list it out it seems so obvious, but I never considered anyone would be deceptive about such a thing.

 

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