Well, since a MOM can work for years, even decades, before the couple realizes they are in a MOM even if they’re fighting and suppressing their urges, I’d say yes. As for my marriage, things have shifted in such a positive way since my husband came out as bi. We’ve always had a pretty darn good relationship, but it was rough for awhile when he first came out. We’re in a wonderful position these days. My husband doesn’t suppress or fight... he acknowledges his desires, but now that he’s come out and completely accepting of who he is, his desires no longer bring the intrusive thoughts they once did  ... and my husband feels fully seen by me so it’s all good. We’ve been together 30 years. He came out a year and a half ago and we remain monogamous. It’ll definitely be good for both parties to be open and honest with one another. It can bring the couple even closer, but it’s a can be tough to get there. I haven’t read your other posts, but there’s often a lot of shame for the non-straight spouse that’s hard to get past. Also, I can only speak from the perspective of a straight wife of a bi man who’s not cheated.

Tangled

Last edited by TangledOil (May 16, 2021 11:32 pm)

I meant to say that my spouse/partner has no shame. He will not admit it. I am waiting on karma.

Treelovingvegan wrote:

Can MOM work if the spouse is in denial or still fighting/suppressing their urges? Or does everything have to be on the table & both people work through it?

I think you probably already know the answer to this...but this is really unhealthy. Honesty is the foundation of a good relationship. Dishonesty will slowly erode any relationship. Many here didn't find out their spouse wasn't straight until they discovered evidence of cheating or their spouse wanted a special pass to have sex with other people....sometimes years or decades into the relationship.

The more important questions are: Is this the kind of relationship you want? Is it fulfilling to you?(both sexually and emotionally) Do you feel loved and secure?