Elizabeth:
    Ask yourself why it is that to him "being a woman" is all about sex.  It has nothing to do with wanting to "be a woman."  It's a sexual paraphilia called autogynephilia, in which a man is sexually attracted to the idea of himself as a woman.  With these types it's never about the real work or reality of being a woman.   That's why you're all tied up in "I'm not a lesbian" and "I could peg him" or "I don't want a strap on."   Because he has defined the ground as a sexual one.  It's got nothing to do with actually existing women.
   I'm here to tell you that this kind of sexual demand, should you go along with it, is going to kill your spirit.  It sure did mine.  And eight months after moving out on my own I am STILL trying to heal from the blow his sexual demands and practices inflicted on me.  Trust me, it's not going to stop at strap ons.  It's going to morph into "I hate male sexuality and so you must not ask me to use my penis, and even though you want that it's a violation of who I am so you have to forego and remake your sexuality to match what I want." 
    Please believe me and others when we say that this only escalates, because it's like an addiction to them.  And what he says today--that he'd like to transition in three years after having children--is not going to be what he says in a month.  Plus, why on earth would you even contemplate bringing a child into a relationship with a person with this disorder!?!?  
    If I may channel Kel, "run like your hair's on fire."   And like Lynne says, no, you shouldn't "support him."  And stop reading whatever you're reading that tells you to ignore your own feelings and all the warning signs.  
  

A quick update.. 

I'm engaged.   It actually happened on Jan 1st, but we decided to share it only with the kids and give them some time to adjust to the news.  Her kids had a really rough time with her divorce and our new relationship will impact them a lot, so we put them first and gave them time to consider the news.  It was a little hard at first for both of them, but now they have come around and seem excited, so we are finally sharing the news with our friends and family. 

We are getting married this summer. 


Again, I know that reading this type of news isn't fun for people who are in a tough place.  I remember it well.. I hated seeing happy family news from others.   So i won't speak much about it, except to remind people that there is a chance to be happy again in the future. 

Mimi, 

Thank you so much for your kind words.  I'm so happy to hear that you've found some optimism from reading my journal. 

I look forward to reading a similar post from you someday.  I can't wait to hear about the new happiness you will find in the future. 

Phoenix, Congratulations! I am so happy you posted such good news. It gives us all hope that there is a good life after TGT. 

Thank you all so much for the kind words!