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This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

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Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


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January 21, 2021 2:07 am  #21


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Ellexoh, yes I do... When the eldest one came out, now 11 years ago, It broke my heart, and it took me all this time, to accept him. So when his brother came out, 2 years ago, it wasn't that hard. I think that is why I might find the path forward easier with my husband, as he has been honest with me years ago, but I just pushed it back, and lived with what I want/can have/make it work/I can fix it - sort of attitude, until he realised the world accepts gays, and I accept the boys, so why not 'come out all over again' and say 'I can't give you want you want'. To me that was a 2nd 'out of the closet' and for the first time in 29 years, I realised what I have done: I have said yes to a gay man, for marriage... so in this sense, children and all, I feel very lonely, especially when I think there won't be any grandchildren for me... This is hard. But I guess, I will find a way to move on, like thousands others did... one step at a time. I must be honest, talking on this forum really helps me. And no one judges me on here. And hopefully counselling will help me to pull through as well... I have read many articles, in fact, I want to leave a link here, which helped me tremendous with my children... and I actually had a phone call from the author on Friday morning which was amazing. I know I am not alone having gay children too, but gosh, this is a heavy weight for me to carry, unless I want to deal with that in the best positive way, in order for me to move forward. It's very easy to just say, 'what's the purpose of life then?' but I still have the willpower to move on...it's hard sometimes though.


"Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).
 

January 21, 2021 7:26 am  #23


Re: Going away... it feels okay

I know this is probably totally off topic but I suspect my 8 year old son may in time identify as gay or bi, he has been extremely effeminate since he could walk, wears his sisters clothing, has mannerisms etc, if he is all i hope for him is that he will be HONEST and not live a lie like his father and leave devestation in his wake 
 

 

January 21, 2021 1:25 pm  #24


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Virion wrote:

I know this is probably totally off topic but I suspect my 8 year old son may in time identify as gay or bi, he has been extremely effeminate since he could walk, wears his sisters clothing, has mannerisms etc, if he is all i hope for him is that he will be HONEST and not live a lie like his father and leave devestation in his wake 
 

 

Virion.... Maybe you could make your comment as it's own thread. I have a 40 year old son who, on his social media page.,.. Refers to himself as "they" and our questions about our sons would get lost in a thread about my holiday & situation, but be relevant in a thread about "Sons"
I for one would read it and comment

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

January 25, 2021 5:39 pm  #25


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

I'm not 24hrs into my trip away and I see in our shared Google history .,... Adult shop.., Peaches & Cream....Locanto ( sex site ).

I'm no longer shocked, sad or angry. Rather I'm determined to move forward and away from a life I no longer want

😔

This hits home.

My wife decided to argue that her searching for hotels this Fall was for our little one. She wanted to take a toddler to a motel, in the middle of a pandemic, by using directions from your lover's address? OKAY.

I hope the desire to search goes away once the divorce is final. It's all just so surreal.


Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Virion.... Maybe you could make your comment as it's own thread. I have a 40 year old son who, on his social media page.,.. Refers to himself as "they" and our questions about our sons would get lost in a thread about my holiday & situation, but be relevant in a thread about "Sons"

The pronoun discussion does make me wonder if this situation will be lessened with time. If people are allowed to identify publicly as "they" or similar, would it help indicate their inner feeling better in advance so they don't feel the need to hide them.

 

February 17, 2021 2:50 pm  #26


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Ink, Stronger and SusanneH and MyExodus....at the start of this thread you wished me well for my trip. I didn't thank you. I'm acknowledging you now

I'm home but feeling a smidgeon less strong about..It All...It feels like I'm waiting for an opening, to ask him questions but my hesitancy to ask, only to get evasive answers...holds me back. Shitfuckdamn

Elle

Did Virion start a thread about Sons using the Pronoun "they"..?

 


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

February 18, 2021 11:26 am  #27


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Elle,

I imagine being away gave you some relief time? And, coming back to reality....well, sucks sometimes, doesn’t it.  Seems to me it would be a bit scary, like you’re saying, with questions. I sure hope you’re able to ask what you need to ask so you aren’t in limbo.

I’m not sure about Virion starting a new thread on “they”. I’ve seen it mentioned, but not sure about a whole thread for it. Maybe someone else will.

Hope things soften up for you & take a turn for the better. 

((((HUGS))))

 

February 18, 2021 5:54 pm  #28


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Elle, You are stronger than you know. Ask the Universe for strength and ask your spouse for the truth, then ask your questions. What do you have to lose? Or fear? If answers are evasive, show your proof. Keep faith in yourself. Sending you courage.

 

February 18, 2021 7:05 pm  #29


Re: Going away... it feels okay

Toward the Light wrote:

Elle, You are stronger than you know. Ask the Universe for strength and ask your spouse for the truth, then ask your questions. What do you have to lose? Or fear? If answers are evasive, show your proof. Keep faith in yourself. Sending you courage.

 
Nope TtLight I spent years being knocked back for the questions I asked.
When... If.,... The time comes to ask... It'll be me the strength comes from, not the universe

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

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