My biggest fear is that I move forward and he makes me feel like I'm an idiot for thinking he is gay and he convinces everyone else of it as well.   Or maybe it's that I do try just one more time and end up in the same spot 5 years from now. 

I understand that Rob, but mine wants the marriage.  I think it's good cover.  He's always been about looking like the perfect couple in public.  So I think he will fight to keep it.  There will surely be a time of confrontation and I'm sure that he will play as being blindsided by it all.

Been a while since I posted, but I have been reading post daily trying to get the courage up to confront my husband.   Even though I have no proof that he has actually acted on anything, I have more and more proof that the desire is there.  Started with just a gut feeling as he was never really into me.   Sex was always quick and mechanical and ALWAYS left me unsatisfied.   Then I found Craig list ads in the browser history, both W4M and M4M.  Confronted that and was told it was just boredom.  Promised he was just in a funk and that he would be better at showing me attention and making sure my needs were met.  Within weeks he was back on porn.  At first it was always videos of women performing oral on men, but I would on occasion find a gay video on the history.   Then he discovered Periscope where he could watch people live.   Again, it stared with him watching women who would strip or masturbate, then couples having sex, found a couple Trannies and more and more men(gay,bi,straight...). Following men that specifically say "for women only".   I half confronted him the other day and told him that perhaps we should go to counselling because I was tired of pretending that we were both happy when we are not.   Told him I had snooped and found a snapchat and periscope account(he has 2, one normal and one for all the porn.) and I was telling myself lots of stories.   He admitted to having both but said he didn't even know how to use them.   We were standing in the church parking lot and I was getting ready to teach Sunday School so this wasn't the most opportune time for me so I let it go.   Later that day he deleted his Periscope following and deactivated his account and has since been acting like everything is perfectly normal.  Why is it so hard to confront all this and take the next step.  Why do I feel like I am about to ruin my kids lives?   How do you get the courage to move on, to say enough is enough.   I don't think he will eve

Someone posted this link in the old forum and I simply can't believe how dead on it describes my life.  I'm sitting here watching my girls play soccer in disbelief that this is what my life has become...

http://www.southfloridaconnects.com/bonnie-kaye-speaks/livinng-la-vida-limbo

Been awhile since I posted.  Recently discovered my husband periscope account.  I don't know if anyone is familiar with periscope but I find it a bit confusing.  He seems to be following many women, couples, a few transvestites, and more recently straight and gay men.  All these people perform sexual acts on video's. Some charge by taking PayPal our Amazon gifts.  Others seem to do it just for fun.   I haven't found that he has spent any money but I know that he watched them often.   We have been married for 12 years and on our anniversary a couple Sunday ago he got out of bed that morning and watched a man masturbate and actively posted encouragement on the video.   This is the first time I could tell he actually watched a man's show.   And on our anniversary....   I can't come up with any reason a straight man would watch another man masturbate.  I talked to a male friend of mine and he tells me that he thinks he may be bicurious.  That maybe I should encourage him to explore this and in the next breath told me to pray the gay away.   Needless to say I left the conversation feeling very frustrated.  I've found more and more over the last couple years to make me think he is gay.  I don't know if he had known all along and acted on it or if he is just coming to terms with it but I believe he is gay.   I get confused because he spends way more time looking at women then men but he hasn't had interest in me in an long time.  This is all so hard to come to terms with and then to have someone make it seem like it's something I can fix.....  Our should live with and support.....   I'm worried about how my community and family will react when I decide this isn't something I can live with.  Any advice or in site please