OurPath Open Forum
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1 of 1- Bec
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Limbo woman
Someone posted this link in the old forum and I simply can't believe how dead on it describes my life. I'm sitting here watching my girls play soccer in disbelief that this is what my life has become...
- Still Wondering
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Re: Limbo woman
Hi Bec,
I lived in limbo for so long that sometimes I can't even believe it. I look back and wish I had listened to Patti when I first went to the old forum and just ran. But no, I had to waste a few years before I was ready. I think we all have to go through our own processes before we're ready. Almost like phases.
Whatever phase you're in....stay strong.
- Bec
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Re: Limbo woman
Thanks Still Wondering. I am very much in Limbo land. Sadly not even so much because I want to make it work but more because I worry what if I'm wrong... What if I uproot my kids, disappoint my family, my church, our friends and I'm wrong. How do you find the courage to take the first step?
- •
Thread Starter- Rob
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Re: Limbo woman
Don't know bec... I was gathering strength in limbo and my lezex took the first step by filing for divorce first. But her actions were that of someone bent on ending the marriage.
I will say the look on her face when she asked if I had a lawyer to be served the papers was priceless...yes..yes I do.
I think you need to move forward at a pace your comfortable with.
Courage and strength.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- cherrytree
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Re: Limbo woman
You are not alone in limbo land, Bec. I am right there with you unfortunately. after finding gay porn in 2013 that he had been looking at for months on 2 separate devices, I still play the ‘what if’ game… what if I’m wrong? what if I had never found those sites? what if divorce him & our kids hate me? what if? it’s horrible living a lie, having to pretend because I’m so fearful of making that first step. but I have started to make steps, & you will too. mine are not big steps, but I’m moving. we all move at our own speed; just as long as we are moving.
you are not completely in limbo, because you have found us. fellow straights who have been through & are going through the same mess, supporting each other in this nightmare.
so you are moving. just don’t stop.
hugs & blessings,
cherry tree
- Rob
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Re: Limbo woman
..getting out of limbo..
I recall being in shock. What I did was small steps..each day something small. Example..this was not over a week.
Monday - make lawyer appointment
Tues - cry
Wed - open own checking account; cry in front of the bank person
Thurs - walk in and make therapist appointment; cry in front of them ...they give me the suicide hotline phone number
Friday - prayer group at work; cry
Sat - drive to library to get books on cd..favor sappy romance stories.
Sun - go to church ; cry
Drive around town looking at rental properties... cry
Following weeks...repeat
But always forward. Today Im divorced and I own our home.. get the kids half the time. But I'm so much happier away from the abuse and demonic hatred. A bit adrift but I've stopped shaking with trauma. I'm ok.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7