Duped,
It's amazing their ability to suck us back in isn't it.   Mine said to me today, "i never told you no or denied you".  No he never told me no in words, he would just lay there and go to sleep.   He also told me that taking oral from me wasn't denying me which I might agree with if it hadn't been 6 months since we had had any sexual contact and he then roled over and went to sleep.   Mine is now playing the devastated husband that never knew I felt rejected....

She was my counselor and asked to see us together.   Why is it so hard to just walk away and say I'm done?

Just had a joint counseling session with my GID Husband.  Feel like I'm drowning in all this.   All of the sudden since he says that his dad molested him it's all supposed to be ok...   I don't get it.   before the councilor met him she was sure that he had acted on his attractions.  Now she is confident he hasn't just because he says so and he was molested.  I should let down my walls and help him through this.   How does it change so quickly.   I called him out for still not being 100% honest and she said that admitting he was looking at men at all was enough.  She did call him out when he said he wasn't sexually attracted to men.  She said you have to be attracted at least a little or you wouldn't look.   Doesn't mean you are gay though.....   Then on the way home he said that he never rejected me for sex.  Never actually told me no.  And taking oral with nothing in return isn't rejecting....   Really???    This just all sucks,  How are they so good at making us fell guilty??  Sorry just needed to vent. 

Mine claims porn addiction as well.  Although yours has admitted more than mine is willing to.   My GIDH will only recently even admit to looking at any male porn even though I have seen more and more and more.  Just told me a couple weeks ago that he was molested by his father.  He is doing counciling with our pastor and recently went to see my therapist as well.    According to him he has no sexually desire for men at all and couldn't figure out why he watched men at all, but now it all makes since.... He's trying to deal with what happened to him as a boy.  He swears to me that he has completely given it all up.   Has no need for it anymore.   This is the 3rd time I've addressed it with him but the first time I made someone else, our pastor, aware of it.  Every other time he just denied.  Now that he knows I'm serious he tries to feed me just enough to pull me back in.   If that doesn't work he'll feed me a little more

Problem is, I don't buy it any more.    Regardless why he did it.  I've lived 13 years wondering what was so wrong with me that my husband didn't want me.   Wondering why sex was always so uneventful, so mechanical when it did happen( once every 3-4 months).   Crying myself to sleep....    I can't unremember all that.  I can't unsee what I've seen..  It's been a very slow process for me but I'm making progress.

Our kids have never been alone with him.  His parents are divorced and as much as I love his dad, I wouldn't trust him to keep the kids safe.   He's absent minded.   My husband tells me that he had forgiven him.  That's why he has a relationship now.   I hate feeling this way but I really don't believe him