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| General Discussion » Arlington VA groups » May 14, 2024 7:16 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 7
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Is anyone out there....? Arlington/NOVA area??
| Strategies for MOM's » Can he be happy? » April 19, 2024 9:32 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 15
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To be clear there is no way I'm agreeing to that. After the hell I and kids have gone through I will have the freedom to tell what I decide . Which I don't know yet what that will be, I want to be on the other side of the divorce and sure that i'm not reacting emotionally and careful about what I share and how it will affect kiddos etc... but I'm not being "gagged" for *&^! sure
| Strategies for MOM's » Can he be happy? » April 19, 2024 7:15 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 15
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Hi Mytruth, I am sorry you find yourself here with us,
I will share what I wish I would have done at two months after knowing I was NOT in a monogamous heterosexual marriage like I was promised:
Find the absolute best attorney (without your spouse knowing) and explain the situation, maybe an investigator if needed in your state and recommended from your attorney. Get a plan together, then tell your husband you want to believe him and make it work but are afraid for your financial future. Have him sign a post marital agreement so that if he continues to lie, cheat, and abuse you the pain of a contentious divorce can be avoided.
And as humiliating as it is, please get tested for STDs as soon as you can, and go for all the follow ups recommended.
Instead, I tried for over 3 years to make it work with my husband who was one of the (supposedly) most honest, amazing, full of integrity people that no one would believe capable of the horrific cruelty he exhibits. Now after almost 30 years of marriage I'm here on a forum I wouldn't have even imagined! Like so many others, I'm divorcing a "man" I never knew I married.
I understand you not having anyone to talk to - because I wanted to make it work I didn't want to add the judgements and opinions of others. Now he wants to tie any future alimony to me not telling anyone. Ha.
After all of the 4 years of hell, and I'm not through the divorce yet with lost of scary unknowns ahead, I can say I wouldn't go back to before "the decision" to tell him to leave. Use this forum as a resource, message me anytime, it's a rough road and can feel quite lonely.
| General Discussion » Arlington VA groups » February 25, 2024 7:59 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 7
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I'll message you
| General Discussion » February intensive » January 24, 2024 6:08 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 1
| Support » Will it work in the longterm? » January 21, 2024 9:46 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 13
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sssskknigth - I'd say absolutely pause on having children right now, you can both get to a place of surety of where you each are individually and as a couple (or not). Once you are there, give it a good few years before broaching the topic of kids, I know it seems like a long time but a child is at least an 18 year commitment that you both want to be healthy and present for, with a very stable marriage. A few years to get grounded are worth it! If your relationship goes the way it seems like the majority of ours have, it will simplify the hell not to have children - and divorce will be "easier."
| General Discussion » February intensive » January 21, 2024 9:35 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 1
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I'm biting the bullet and attending a week long intensive in CA last week of Feb/first part of March for betrayed spouses based on the minwalla model, wondered if anyone here would like to join me?
| Support » My Biggest Fear in All of This (aka The Thing That Holds Me Back) » January 13, 2024 1:24 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 44
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ellierigg wrote:Bumping this because it is a great topic and it might help new people coming in here.
Thank you so much for bumping this topic!
| Support » TV Show » December 19, 2023 7:56 pm |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 2
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no
| General Discussion » Arlington VA groups » December 15, 2023 12:51 am |
- MarieSmith
- Replies: 7
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I'm not great about checking this site often, but please message me to connect in person. I'd love to meet with others who can relate to the situation, coffee or lunch? I'll try to send a message with my personal email as well since that's a quicker method -