I wish I found this site years ago. It may have prevented me from hitting rock bottom.  So many tears, much anxiety, begging to God, not wanting to get out of bed, living in a daze, and feeling so alone for three years.   About 3 months ago I accepted my fate and started climbing out of the pit.  When my husband first told me he felt female I thought I could still stay.  Now I know I can’t.  I’m so afraid to tell him I can’t support him any longer as his wife.  My therapist says he is emotionally abusing me and he is very manipulative.  I’m so mad at myself for still putting his feelings first.  What’s wrong with me??  I’ve always put others first and I’m having a hard time changing.   He says he can’t live without me.  What if he does something horrible to himself.  We’ve been married for 18 years. I’m afraid my kids wouldn’t forgive me for getting a divorce.  I want to scream and pull my hair out.  Growing up I had rainbows hanging on my bedroom walls.  Now I despise them.  That’s not a good feeling to have.