I think Kristin deserves a lot of thank you's and kudos for her excellent podcast work, and now the wrap up. The podcast has served as one of  my only connections to people outside of my situation, a complete lifesaver. Her last two broadcasts were especially touching. Thank you Kristin for everything! 

lily, all of your comments check out. groomed to keep their secrets, hide in their closet, and all the rest. this point alone is one of the worst in my books. when this all eventually "goes down", this guy is done with the secrets. i know it's "proper etiquette" to not "out" people, but honestly at this point i don't care. this person has already stolen so much from me. and already has expressed "improper etiquette" in spades. i refuse to have this over my head a moment longer. it's destroying me. how dare they demand i keep their secret. once i'm not married, secret-keeping-time is over, sorry (not sorry). 

another check on the panic attacks. never had one before in my life. at one point even wondered if such a thing even existed. but boy howdy does it. 

thief is the right word. as a friend said: "the worst kind of liar! a thief!". manipulative to the extreme. i never really saw this coming. especially not the manipulations, gaslighting, excuses, denials, and this fake world they live in. the gay part i could maybe live with. the rest i cannot, no way. 

I am in exactly the same predicament. Like same timeline and everything. I have good days and bad (Jesus, I sound like a cancer patient). I'm pretty much beside myself most days. I'm mad and sad and pissed and just plain old looped. But I am starting to see a teeny tiny light. It's hell. But you know, F these toxins. They've stolen enough from us already. 

Bertuccio wrote:

You want someone who loves you.
 

This line says it all.