Sometimes I'm just not okay, but perhaps that's alright.   I learned of my husband's bisexuality and infidelity about 1 1/2 years ago.   We've been married nearly 30 years and I was totally blindsided.   I'm trying to accept that I will continue to have ups & downs and to accept my feelings.  I want to give myself "permission" to sometimes feel sad.  We had issues in our marriage before and we have issues now.   Are these current issues insurmountable?  I don't know and I don't have to know.      

What surprises me is that so many straight spouses go along with open marriages as if it's totally reasonable. 

I've joined other online mixed orientation relationship support groups.   Many straight spouses write about accepting open marriages after disclosure.   I honestly don't get it.  I sometimes think that I'm in the minority.  I think that it would be similar to my husband telling me that he really likes women with larger breasts and so he gets to have sex with large breasted women periodically.  Why would he get to have sex with men on the side because he has same sex attraction?   I've told him that if he wants to have sex with men again, we should get divorced, and I will be very supportive as his friend. I've encouraged him to live the life that he wants to live, but he has to choose.   Is this unreasonable?

I see it on a Mixed Orientation Facebook group that I've joined.  I hadn't heard of it before.  I don't know how common it is.  

He said it was none of my business.   He says that he loves me and wants to recommit to our marriage and that he won't seek out sex with men again, but I don't trust him.