OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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| Support » Lost in a Maze » October 5, 2022 2:41 pm |
- Phil9999
- Replies: 7
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I am going to bring this up to her about me not talking to my normal support group. She suggested i find an online group thus I found you all. It is going to be messy and tbh I would rather not be asked a million questions i don't have the answers to yet.
I did get a lawyer already and have another group i am a part of that has advice on divorcing and moving on.
| General Discussion » Taking Things At Face Value » October 5, 2022 11:52 am |
- Phil9999
- Replies: 6
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Anon,
…
Same here with my wife. She said she always felt unsettled and her uncle saying she always toed the line to never push boundaries got her thinking about things and this was a year ago. When she was thinking for a year she finally came to conclusion it was because she was a lesbian and thus being with men could never feel settled no matter what happened. Her friends would talk about husbands a certain way and she wouldn't feel the same or her friend after having a kid said they felt grounded but my wife did not. She always wondered why there wasn't more desire for sex with me. She only admitted her fist kiss was a girl back in high school and that was only time she had any interaction of any sort with a woman.
That her revelation has made feel free and that she wishes she had known sooner so we didn't get entangled with houses and kids etc and i didn't lose 12 years. She never did anything to make it seem like she didn't want me. She did say when she would shop for cards some of the messaging wasn't matching how she felt but didn't think much of it as she founds other cards that said what she wanted.
She would initiate sex with me and we did what most relationships do. Hugs kisses handholds etc. Go on dates and have fun together.
So like you can I truly believe she didn't know? I am going to say yes but only for my case and i will give you reasons that maybe help you conclude in your case.
She has told me and had a counseling session prior to telling me to confirm her feelings etc weren't just an anomaly. Her mom will likely tell her she is going to hell as her pan sister her om is just "dealing with" and has left the house to not be around her. She asked her pan sister for guidance on when she knew and what were the signs. I can see how someone is unsettled. She went through school, and became very successful married and two kids and started a new job and new house in the past year. Always thinking achieving will even
| Support » Lost in a Maze » October 5, 2022 9:54 am |
- Phil9999
- Replies: 7
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Everyone,
…
My wife told me on the night of our oldest 5th birthday party that she is a lesbian and that last year when her dad died her uncle made a comment and it got her thinking as to why she never seemed settled and when her girlfriends would talk about their husbands in a sexual manner she didn't feel the same. She said with every boyfriend she had before we married 8 years ago it was the same unsettled feeling. We just moved into a new home a month ago and tbh i hate it because we had saved a lot of money we each could have used for our own home if she told me last August 2021 that she was seeking clarity I wouldn't have agreed to build this new place. So now she also tells me we need to keep this a secret until we have things sorted out but she is happy it is off her chest. She is engaging the LGBT+ community for support but my normal support network family and friends I can't go to. I want to say fuck it this is your problem I don't need to keep it a secret I need support to but part of me knows that will only make things worse and our kids (3 and 5) have no idea of anything yet despite mommy sleeping in a different bedroom the past week(her choice as she says she can't lay in same bed(king size) with me. We now take turns using the bathroom as she doesn't want to be in a state of undress in front of me as it now makes her uneasy(despite 12 years of seeing her naked daily).
I had a situation with my brother a long time ago that made it hard to assume things were good even if they were. I had gone to therapy and moved forward in it. But this has completely reset the fucking clock on all that.
How do I trust anyone that they want me for me and aren't just having me for the time being until they know what they want. I am only 41 and want a partner to share life with. I can't even begin to meet knew people as the community we are in knows I am married to my wife and doesn't know anything else. My coworkers have already started asking
| Strategies for MOM's » Just hoping for a little guidance » October 5, 2022 9:30 am |
- Phil9999
- Replies: 6
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Daseal21.....I came on here because my wife also of 8 years and two kids who are turning 5 and 3 now came out and said she always felt unsettled and came to realization tat she is a lesbian. She always wondered why she didn't want my advances as much as I was making them or why she didn't desire me physically as much as her other girlfriends did their husbands. Told me I was nothing short of perfect but she can't see herself with me anymore. We literally moved into a new build home a month ago...so we will need to sell it and buy new homes which is my biggest fear the finances.
How are you doing navigating all this as I am still at a loss for words? I see this was posted in May of this year so hoping you are still on here.
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