Thank you all!  I am overwhelmed (in a good way) with your advice, kindness, and empathy. I am taking a deep breath.  I am going to reread what has been shared.  There is a lot to think about and process. Sometimes I still feel like I am in shock.  This is not a situation I ever dreamed would happen. I feel a bit lost and sick to my stomach most of the time.  I have a couple close friends and a counselor I am leaning on for support, so that helps.  I really appreciate that I can come here and share my thoughts - you all get it.

It is so hard to come to terms with shattered dreams and hopes. To imagine being without someone I have cared about and loved deeply for decades is crushing. 

Has anyone gone through a divorce/break up and remained close friends with their ex? The idea sounds nice for the sake of the kids, but I struggle understanding how it is possible. Being cordial and polite? yes.  Best friends? no.  It sounds like the request to remain close friends is common among the coming out partners.  Has anyone chosen that path and made it work?
 

Thank you Anon,  That must have been devastating for you.  I am so sorry.  I will take your words to heart. Thank you for your encouragement.  I wish you well.

My husband came out to me as gay several months ago.  He has not had an affair. We have been married over 20 years This has been a very difficult and emotional several months.  We genuinely love and care about each other.

If we choose to stay married to each other, how do we get past the concerns (from him and society) that he is not living authentically?  What is authenticity?