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| Support » Drip drip drip » May 10, 2022 10:48 am |
- Figuring-it-0ut
- Replies: 11
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How do you deal with the slow reveal of the facts?! Every time something new comes to the surface I'm right back to discovery day and the emotional roller coaster starts all over.
The details of what I found out last night doesnt change the bottom line but it still hurts just as much!
| Strategies for MOM's » Successful co-parenting with or without MOM » May 6, 2022 8:57 pm |
- Figuring-it-0ut
- Replies: 7
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I'm seeing it as protecting the kids. And for now that means their parents being on good terms with each other. What form that relationship takes is what I'm trying to figure out.
Layla I'm trying to find a therapist I can speak to... but it's been hard to find someone literally anyone that has an opening.
I'm so so grateful for this forum its the only thing that is helping me not feel alone. Reading everyone's stories is cathartic in a way I can't even describe.
| Support » Co-parenting in a MOM » May 6, 2022 4:04 pm |
- Figuring-it-0ut
- Replies: 3
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Hi I posted this to the MOM specific group but it was suggested that I post here for a wider net. I'm not sure if I want to stay in this marriage and pretend to make it work or if there is a healthy way to separate and maintain the happy life we've built for our kids. Here is what I originally posted to the MOM group
…
I found out my husband of 10 yrs is attracted to men, he admits to being bi but is most likely GID. I found out a few months ago and believed him when he said he's bi and that it's mostly been sexting and unsuccessful attempts at hookups. Fast forward to this week and I looked through his phone again and the sexting hasn't stopped. He was also planning a hookup. To me at this point a crucial part of our marriage (sex/intimacy) is now over. I can no longer trust or feel safe with him.
The part that isn't over is our family. We have two kids 5&2. We work really well as a parenting team. He is an amazing dad. From the outside we have an idyllic life, beautiful house, great jobs, amazing kids. It truly is the life that I have always wanted. But now it feels hollow at the core.
He is promising that he will work on his impulses to sext/seek attention from outside the marriage. As much as I want this to be true, I know its not. He barely stopped for a month after the big reveal of his secret and so I dont see much point in yet another chance.
He doesn't want to ruin the life and family we've built together. I am conflicted and feel selfish for wanting to blow it all up.
So, if you've stuck with me so far, what should I do? If you've stayed in a MOM how have the kids fared? Was it worth it to stay together for them?
If you chose to leave... have you been able to successfully coparent post separation/divorce?
| Strategies for MOM's » Successful co-parenting with or without MOM » May 6, 2022 3:56 pm |
- Figuring-it-0ut
- Replies: 7
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Thank you both!
Elle, what do we even tell the kids... he is not ready to come out. I dont want to put him in that position either, there will be too many negative consequences from his family who will not be able to accept his reality. He is GID and I don't want to out him if he's not ready.
Not just about protecting him but its not a good way to start a healthy co-parenting situation. I also cant imagine either of our families taking it well and the BS from them that my kids will have to deal with. If the kids were older I'd say we can talk through this, but they are still babies.
| Strategies for MOM's » Successful co-parenting with or without MOM » May 5, 2022 10:21 pm |
- Figuring-it-0ut
- Replies: 7
-
I found out my husband of 10 yrs is attracted to men, he admits to being bi but is most likely GID. I found out a few months ago and believed him when he said he's bi and that it's mostly been sexting and unsuccessful attempts at hookups. Fast forward to this week and I looked through his phone again and the sexting hasn't stopped. He was also planning a hookup. To me at this point a crucial part of our marriage (sex/intimacy) is now over. I can no longer trust or feel safe with him.
The part that isn't over is our family. We have two kids 5&2. We work really well as a parenting team. He is an amazing dad. From the outside we have an idyllic life, beautiful house, great jobs, amazing kids. It truly is the life that I have always wanted. But now it feels hollow at the core.
He is promising that he will work on his impulses to sext/seek attention from outside the marriage. As much as I want this to be true, I know its not. He barely stopped for a month after the big reveal of his secret and so I dont see much point in yet another chance.
He doesn't want to ruin the life and family we've built together. I am conflicted and feel selfish for wanting to blow it all up.
So, if you've stuck with me so far, what should I do? If you've stayed in a MOM how have the kids fared? Was it worth it to stay together for them?
If you chose to leave... have you been able to successfully coparent post separation/divorce?
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