I understand bitterness, but then they win. My husband of 34 years, died unexpectedly from a major heart attack and the aftermath of dealing with his double life was so painful. I had my suspicions over the years, but I chose to go into denial mode and just make our two children my life. I just finished watching , The Policeman which is a movie about a gay man who marries but continues to have a gay relationship and I could relate to it so much. The wife feels like it is her responsibility to change him and that if she gets rid of the man her husband is in love with they will live happily ever after. It basically shows that a gay man will not change and they will chose to live a double life for their happiness and never mind if wife is happy. I would tell anyone just starting out if you suspect your husband is gay get out as fast as you can. 

I feel for you. I can definitely relate. I spent 34 years married to a gay man. I married him thinking he loved me and I loved him. No sex on honeymoon and lots of guy friends. I started realizing that I had probably married someone I did not spend enough time getting to know. Somehow had two children, 5 years apart and probably the only two times we had sex! I must have been fertile. I spent my life devoted to raising kids while he kinda did his own thing, had lots of hobbies and lots of guy friends!!! I spent so many years unhappy and wondering what was wrong with me. He died of a sudden heart attack and it was more painful than ever dealing with all his friends who some chose not to talk to me and others told me they were unaware he had a wife!!! The pain and regret I am going through after realizing I spent so many years ignoring my own happiness and well being is something I have to work through. I am telling you it won't get better, he will not change, there is no happy ending. I would tell my younger self get out and realize you deserve happiness. Good luck to you.

Momoftwo wrote:

Gloria wrote:

I feel no hate in my situation. I am happily married and not to the homosexual that I broke up with.

Yet you chose to comment on my message, so you may be happily married but yet you chose to say mean hateful comment about my husband who you did not know. I posted only because I was sad and upset that my marriage of so many years was not what I would have hoped and yet you have to post hate saying hope he gets what he deserved. It hurt to read this and I was not wanting negative feedback, I was just trying to deal with the fact I lived a life I would not have chose but I would never, ever feel hatred for a man I lived with for 34 years who obviously could not accept his sexuality. Gloria, peace be with you and your new marriage.

 

Gloria wrote:

I did not mean to offend anyone with my remark. I came from a very pampered background. It is true though, that the Lord does not like ugly.

why you would choose to comment and use excuse of a pampered background. YOU did not know my husband and yes I chose to relay how I felt sad and betrayed but to say I hope he gets what he deserves. It was hate that motivated that remark and I have no hatred for my spouse, I feel bad he did not get the opportunity to live the life he wanted. I knew in my heart he was not happy and only wish he could have felt comfortable in living the life he wanted.
I hope you can appreciate that Gloria.
 

Gloria wrote:

So sorry that you are in this situation. I am also Catholic. Only God knows where your husband is now but we all know that the Lord does not like ugly. I hope he gets what he deserves .

Gloria I am not choosing hate as you seem to be. I don't know what your situation is but I loved my husband despite his faults, he was a good father and yes I feel betrayed but I am hoping and praying he is in a good place and at peace.