@Lostgirl
          I can very well understand where you are coming from. I think I had a suspicion the something up going on with my BH. He finally came out to be probably 2-3 years ago. We are married 32 years next week. I  have decided to stay together. We r working very hard at it. We are going to a councilor at least once a month. It is a daily struggle. The one time we have learned is that communication is a key factor in making it work. It helps to share things, both good & not so good. It's very hard. But what helped me was to decide what I wanted to do, stay with him or not. Then we worked on it together. I ultimately learned that I had to do what was best for me & us. I still have questions & think I always will. I decided that we had been together for so long & shared so much that I didn't want to give that up. I learned that this was part of who he is & I accepted that.
   Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you on this journey. Take a deep breath. 

Thank you for all the info. I'm fairly new with this in my life. I can use any info and help I can get. Thanks for being there to share