Right now I'm just trying to find out a bit more about what he's seeking. If he really is a counselor and is just looking to better serve his clients who are straight partners, that's a good thing. We do have information for professionals on our website though, which I've steered him toward.

OurPath never allows people to come do research directly with our constituents. Most people who come to us looking for cooperation are individuals involved in post graduate studies, who have complete documentation on the project, complete with a survey we can review. In those cases, we offer that opportunity up in our electronic spaces so that people can freely interact as they desire - directly with the individual doing the research. We ask to be cited in the research and that it be made available to us afterward.

There have been plenty of opportunities OurPath has turned down, too. We want more scholarly research on our demographic. We have also have stories to tell. But things need to be done the right way - the purpose is important. OurPath is here for support. If we feel that an opportunity is legitimate after vetting it, and it adds value to the straight community, then we can move forward. If not, then it's dead in the water. Straight Partners aren't here for other people's entertainment.

We will never let people who want to study us into the room. We will offer our constituents the key to the room where the vetted researcher is sitting and waiting for them. And will will give our constituents plenty of information ahead of time so they know what's in the room - so they can decide if they're interested.

Kel
 

The purpose of the section for LGBT Partners is to educate them how to come out to us while doing the least amount of damage to us. The entire guide is geared toward helping straight partners in the end.

What we found when we did some looking around is that there were guides for LGBT+ people to come out to their employers, their parents, their children, their friends. But zero about how to come out to your spouse/partner. Who better to write that than us?

I guess I lied - I'm still answering questions.

We've had several potential grant makers and corporate donors come back and tell us that they get our mission, and they'd like to help. But... they can't have a company with the word "straight" in their name listed on their roster of nonprofits they donate to. And do you know why? Because a few years back when white supremacists started holding straight pride marches, they effed it all up for us. And no, we can't "educate" corporations about it. What they're worried about is other non-educated individuals seeing them in a bad light because they're helping an organization with the word straight in their name.

This is the same place, and we do the same thing as we've always done. This is help. And it won't matter what we name ourselves - people in need will find us. Because they're not searching for the words straight spouse. I can see exactly what search terms they're using because we have Google Analytics. And you know what they're using?
"Is my husband gay?"
"I think my wife is a lesbian."
"My husband is looking at gay porn."
"Do I open my marriage with my bi-sexual partner?"

And those roads will still all lead back to us. That's just how Google works. It takes a bit of time though, of course. Even if people searched the words straight spouse, they'll wind up on our old site, which points to our new site. They are desperate for help. We could name ourselves "Flying Monkeys" and they'd still find us.

We are not selling out, or selling our souls. We are not watering down the message. We have no intention of tailoring our stories. None of that is what's happening.

We have no guarantee that any of this will result in growth. But I had no guarantee that leaving my ex would mean that I'd find love again, either. I just knew that what I was doing wasn't going to work long-term. So I held my nose and I jumped. And I found love again. I shudder to think what my life would be like today if I'd let that fear hold me

lily wrote:

"When the Straight Spouse Network launched in 1991, their focus was on supporting the straight spouses of people who came out as gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. With the changing and expanding landscape of Mixed Orientation Relationships that includes Partners of Trans People, and more people remaining in their Mixed Orientation Relationships, they have adopted the new name OurPath to reflect inclusivity."

First sentence,  Yes, exactly, that describes my understanding of the focus that was the inception of this forum.

Second sentence - rug puller.

Lily - SSN/OurPath has always served partners of trans people. They are absolutely straight partners in our eyes. They were a tiny minority all these years. But the social landscape is changing, and coming out as Trans is more accepted now. So more people are doing it. Leaving more straight partners in their wake.

There is a misunderstanding that partners of trans people can get help through LGBTQ organizations. Only if you consider "help" being told that their trans partner is the same person, and that they should stay with their Trans Partner if they truly loved them. Those places offer no outlet for any emotions beyond happiness and support for the Trans partner. There is no other group like OurPath - where the straight partner is offered a safe place to vent their complex emotions - good and bad. So the first part of the second sentence ("With the changing and expanding landscape of Mixed Orientation Relationships that include Partners of Trans People") is no different than it's ever been. This is who've we've always been. We're just articulating it more clearly now so that Partners of Trans People know they are welcome here among us. The "changing landscape" is that we have more Partners of Trans People coming to us now than ever before. They are Straight Partners. They are welcome here, and OurPath wants them to know it.

SSN has never prescribed what decisions Straight Partners shou

In cases where the straight partner or their children are in danger, SSN has always advocated for leaving the situation. Straight partners and partners of trans people are the experts only in their own situations. The answer for what to do and how/when to do it is something we believe is inherently inside each of us. With encouragement and compassion, we hope to help empower straights to make the decisions that are best for them, and to move onto healthy healing.