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The new site will be my goodbye to SSN. It's about time for me, anyway--five years come this September that I first posted here.
Just to let everyone know: if you have been using the Forum as a kind of record of your journey, you can search back through your own posts, in "ascending" order, to copy them to a Word document and have a record from your first post forward. (I did this when Kel first announced the new site was coming.)
Edited to add:
If there are other "trans widows" on this site who would prefer not to lend legitimacy to SSN's "neutral" position on trans issues, you can find support on this forum on Mumsnet:
("Tinsel Angel," the trans widow who initiated the forum and moderates it (and has been interviewed by SSN), was interviewed in the new book "Trans" by Helen Joyce.)
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (August 11, 2021 9:03 pm)
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OoHC, I'm sure we will miss you but I wish you the best going forward. You have provided much valuable insight over the years in a very complex area.
Daryl
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delete
Last edited by Lynne (July 15, 2022 6:32 pm)
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OutofHisCloset wrote:
,.....Just to let everyone know: if you have been using the Forum as a kind of record of your journey, you can search back through your own posts, in "ascending" order, to copy them to a Word document and have a record from your first post forward....
I'm not quite sure how to do it but that's such a good idea OOHC..!
Elle
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Elle (and others who might want to archive their own posts):
To access your own posts, go up to the top of the main forum page to the bar; choose "search"; type in your own user name; then work down the page with this choice of prompts: check the circle for "posts"; use the drop down menu at the bottom of the page to select "ascending," which will take you to your own posts, starting with your very first one. You can then copy and paste from there. If a post is longer than the selection shown in the list, you can access the whole post by clicking on the "go to post" at the bottom left of the post. At that point you can copy it, and then export it from the site to the new document you've chosen to archive (just like "cut and paste" with any text). To return to the list of your own posts, hit the back arrow.
Lynne: This transwidow agrees 1000% with you. Luckily there are such places as the Transwidows site on Mumsnet, and many other sites--Transwidow's Voices, Ovarit, WoLF (Women's Liberation Front); Terf Is a Slur (terfisaslur.com), and many others--run by those who are unafraid to run afoul of the pernicious undermining of women's and girls' right and to tell the truth about the harm done by trans-identifying men to their partners and children. I've tried over time in replying to new posters with sources from academics like Blanchard, Bailey, Lawrence, and Chapman, as well as with the words of transwidows themselves (Gas Mark Six by Naeferty; Christine Benevenuto's memoir "Sex Changes"), and the accounts by journalists like Helen Joyce ("Trans"). Graham Linehan, who works from Substack, is also a fierce defender of women and children against the inroads of trans activists and the damage done by "affirmative" only "care" for teens. (This is only a partial list.)
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (August 12, 2021 8:48 am)
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I have no desire to archive my own posts. I did not post much. I am happy that Kia wants to archive hers. She is living with a homosexual so she needs all the records that she can get. I am free from mine.
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I know I haven't been around that much lately, but this site has been a lifesaver for me. I really mean that.
I read along as best I can, but often I feel like I end up so exhausted from my own situation that there isn't anything left to provide comfort to the next person. It's been a surreal and exhausting time.
I keep thinking I should post in "Our Stories" but it's so draining to go back and look at my own trainwreck of a life.
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OutofHisCloset wrote:
If there are other "trans widows" on this site who would prefer not to lend legitimacy to SSN's "neutral" position on trans issues...
SSN has always taken a neutral position on what straight partners believe and the decisions they make for themselves. We have always encouraged them to do what works best for them and their family. We don't take a position on whether others should stay with or leave their partners, or give a precise definition of the word gay. When the organization prescribes viewpoints, we narrow the field of straights we can serve. It delegitimizes the organization to anyone who doesn't subscribe to those same beliefs and viewpoints. The array of experiences, beliefs and convictions within the straight partner community is vast. We want to support the individual, no matter their viewpoints and choices about their own relationship.
Our new website has many resources and recommended links on it - including Trans Widow Voices. These resources run the gamut on viewpoint and purpose. We respect the varying viewpoints and believe they are helpful resources. We are not opposed to viewpoints across the spectrum being expressed. We think that's valuable. We empower straight partners, and trust them to make the decisions that are best for them and their families.
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Abused women do not need the gamut of viewpoints. A woman living in an abusive situation is not empowered by "viewpoints across the spectrum." I doubt you would say something similar to a woman who is being physically abused.
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Gloria wrote:
I have no desire to archive my own posts. I did not post much. I am happy that Kia wants to archive hers. She is living with a homosexual so she needs all the records that she can get. I am free from mine.
Are you talking about me Gloria?
"She is living with a homosexual so she needs all the records that she can get"
....is quite a catty thing to say. I would like to use the record of my journey here to see how far I've come, be able to reread the advice and knowledge I've gathered from members and compare the strength and value I now see in myself with the confused and wary woman I was when I joined
You have to be in a straightspouses' shoes to know she's living with a homosexual. I've had my life upturned and ruined by a bisexual
Elle
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (August 12, 2021 2:58 pm)