Look I'm really sorry to do this to you but have you considered the possibility that your instinct is going off because your new boyfriend is gay in denial too?

Maybe see if you can see what it is that triggers you into doubting him.

Hi Elle,

Biological reality is not quite so easy to pin down sometimes but it certainly makes it's presence felt.  A friend of mine, she was told she could not leave the hospital until she had decided on what sex her baby was.  Hermaphrodite is the old fashioned term, not sure if there's a new one.  

Like most people in that situation, she chose girl because her baby felt more feminine than male.  

Some few years ago I saw a middle-aged hermaphrodite being interviewed on the tv.  He was in South America, brought up as a girl but turned to boy during puberty and was at middle age an effeminate looking man.  No medical treatment.  No surgery no drugs.  No legal determinations of her/his sex required.  

A lot better situation than my friend's daughter, she was brutalised by the medical interventions.  It was like they decided well we have determined she is a girl and can't go back now so now we have to make it stick. 
  
My ex didn't want to have children he insisted I take the pill which I did, til in great distress I refused to do it any more when I got to 30.  

So yes these trans activists have me worried - no love or respect for women, just this terrifying blow hard competing to take our place as if they are superwomen.
 

Cross dressing is one thing but taking drugs and doing surgery are another.  I've heard there are already people saying they wish they'd never gone the gender reassignment route,  You live with the consequences for the rest of your life.  With older people saying they regret it I would hope that would give young adults pause for thought before wading into medical interventions but to be advocating such treatments before puberty seems very wrong to me.

If they imagine blocking the surges of chemistry during puberty will make a perfect woman then the writing is already on the wall, it doesn't.

Look, it's an ever-changing world.  And I think I'm right in believing that there are a lot less straight people being.born with every generation.  But you know, we do still exist.  so my hope is that this forum will continue to give a voice to straight spouses - those of us who have been through the experience of waking up to the realisation our partner is not straight and found this forum know how invaluable it is.

I am going to be brave and make an observation based on my experience, and validated by the many stories I have read here - there is an overwhelming pattern of straights being abused in the marriage.  My ex never hit me, he never yelled at me, everybody including myself thought he was such a nice man - it was my lawyer who pointed out to me that he was being emotionally and financially abusive.  It's only with hindsight I can see how bad it was.

And from what I can see with the people I know who are getting on now and still in their MOMs - it only gets worse with age.

all the best, everyone, and wishing you a Happy Easter.

Who do you want to have a lifetime of sex with, another woman?  no of course not.  A gay man trying to act straight?

You have your whole life ahead of you.  And while there are a ton of stories where the midlife crisis is a bisexual declaring he needs to have sex with men there's not one single story where he is declaring he's only interested in women now.

I really disagree with the previous poster.  You need to be able to talk this over openly with your family.  His family is up to him but this is your story as well as his - you have every right in the universe to talk about this with the people you need to.  And nobody more than your own family who are going to be so affected by whom you marry.

My hope for you is that you can protect the love between you and gain a lifelong friend.  The way forward for that is to change the chemistry - stop having sex together.  He has come to you sobbing telling you he used to be bisexual but now his interest in women has faded - translated into straight talk that is likely to mean he has met a man he is keen on - I am hoping you can set him free as a lover but still hold onto him as a companion in life.  

Wishing you the best of luck.