Thanks I've been trying to figure those out

Kel , no you are not alone! I hate porn it has been the match that lit the flame to destruction in my marriage. Just last night my husband discovered we had some free channels this weekend and wanted to record some porn. I said go ahead I'm not watching it with you!!!  He then said I guess I just cant be a man anymore. wtf?  I said if we had a normal sex life I wouldn't care. I would watch it with you but we don't. Months could go by and I have to ask for sex  and you feel you have to service me (oral) I hate it.
He is addicted to it. AFTER FINDING HIM JERKING OFF TO TRANNY PORN and finding naked men all over his computer I'm sick of it. Get this he said it was my fault he watched it (tranny) because I moved his regular porn. I did a year prior so the grandchildren wouldn't see it in tv cabinet. It was in his night stand where it had been for over a year.  Then he proceeds to tell me "you know how I tease you about having a pool boy?well some times I wish you did.!" WTF? he didn't elaborate on it discussion over. So tired of it

, Yes I'm fine Ty but I 'am going to look for a  therapist. Had I not had the video he would have kept lying. at the time I asked him do you want to see it? he said no. I don't know how a human being could try to convince the one they claim to love that everything they feel is going on is in their head. I cant wrap my head around it, I would  feel so guilty I wouldn't be able to live with it. I even feel like I am betraying him writing this. How messed up is that?.  I'm going to read the post you suggest. Thank you so very much for your kindness! when does the shock and the feeling that it isn't real go away?

I'm new here. I caught my husband enjoying himself watching transvestite porn "Chicks with dicks" I got sick I cried and cried, His reason was he couldn't find his other porn as I moved it...I didn't.... then he said some one at work put it in his truck. I said that would piss me off! because they would think you were gay . We fought over it and he said he didn't watch the whole thing just looked and took it out. What he didn't know was I had my web cam on and he was recorded watching it and jerking off to it. I was afraid to tell him and didn't. I got very depressed and attempted suicide that would have been successful if he hadn't come home early.    So I finally confronted him he said he wasn't gay that he is a man and was just curious, I then told him I had him recorded watching it and very much enjoying it. He said he was ashamed that he watched it. How ever prior to confronting him I went through his computer and found he was file sharing which I don't understand how that fully works. Anyway lots of nude photos of men and photos of men getting it on and more gay porn. He has denied that anything on the computer was him. I have my own and you would never find any of that on mine. By the way it had all been deleted and I brought all the history back and that's how I found it.  Someone had to be helping him because he is computer illiterate . He seldom ever gets on computer now even changed servers and Wi-Fi system because of file sharing?
Now we have smartphones which I never thought we would have as he never wanted to spend the money.  He is very kind and attentive to me and wants to be married and tells me 100 times a day I love you and your so beautiful. Sex is still an issue if I'm having to ask after 55 days I know he has a sexual appetite and the Dr told us he is healthy and its in his head...after 10 years I don't know what to do and I'm tired of being sad and scared.......thank you for listening....... i'll share more later