Norah, I am shocked by how similar your story is to mine! Before I found this forum, I truly believed that no one else had gone through what I just have. Even the part about him giving you an STI! Is this common? I knew when he wouldn’t admit to the STI it was because it had come from a man. Did you stay for a long time after the discovery? I kept trying to make it work, thinking if I made him feel comfortable and satisfied enough, that he would stop with the endless lies. Maybe the lying and having a secret life is apart of the thrill for him, but I don’t think he will ever stop lying.

Going to try and make a very long story short. Both in our mid 20s and together 2 years. Not married but definitely in love and the person I wanted to spend my life with. Lots of talks about starting a family soon. Now, i’ve always been non-judgemental towards sex, and down to try mostly anything once (within reason..). I told my partner this in the beginning, and I fear it just opened the floodgates.

Awhile ago he had opened up to me. It was a confusing and emotional conversation for us both. I felt extremely bad that he had been keeping this a secret. He didn’t come out and say he was gay but he might as well have. It sounded like he was deeply in denial and I felt horribly for him. Said he’s hooked up with men once or twice in the past. I told him I will always be there for him as a friend, but I couldn’t be in a relationship with him if he was going to be exploring his sexuality or sleeping with other people period, regardless of gender. He cried and said he should’ve never told me, swore that having me was more important than any of that, he only wanted to be with me. I still had my doubts because I didn’t want to keep him from exploring things he obviously had interest in, I knew it was a big desire and probably couldn’t be ignored for long. But I love him so much and wanted to make it work. Plus I thought maybe it was a porn addiction as well.

So we stay together. Our sex from here on out gets more and more demanding. From the start, I would say he was always hyper sexual. Though in the beginning he would always struggle to finish, I thought maybe he was insecure because that’s happened with men I was with in the past. We would usually have sex 3 times a day on average. It was always a little kinky but its just gotten more and more over time. He had been asking for a long time, before the “confession” to be pegged, which I always told him I didn’t really want to do. Finally after months of begging I gave in, I was scared he would look