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Wed Sep 27 10:27 am  #41

Re: Thoughts

When my mother's death was eminent and I was sobbing and having dry heaves. I asked him to hold me and he said "What does this have to do with me".  After all the xmas's and other celebrations at her home and everything she had done for us. He dry eyed wanted to know what any of it had to do with him and walked away. Mind boggling.


Wed Sep 27 12:46 pm  #42

Re: Thoughts

That's mind-boggling, Allison.  Even if he'd never met the woman, if something is upsetting you, and you're his wife, then it's his business to comfort you.  I had a boss die years ago, and neither my kids nor my current husband had ever met him.  They knew that my boss was a kind man, and that I adored him.  He'd been sick for years, and just days before he died, I cried to my husband that I knew that I had just seen him for the last time.  He thought I was overreacting, but he comforted me just the same.  When I got a text from my boss' wife saying that he'd died the day before, everyone heard that text come in, and then saw me read it, and start bawling.  They had no idea what I reacting to that harshly.  And yet, they all came running over to me.  "What's wrong, honey?  What happened?  Are you okay?  Mommy, what? What is it?  I gave the phone to my husband, who read the quick text, and quietly told the kids that my boss had just died.  And they surrounded me, hugging on me, comforting me, even crying a bit with me.  I just lost it for a bit there.  And they did what they were supposed to do - BE with me.  Hold me.  Comfort me.  Pet me.  And that wasn't my mother - it was a boss.

There is literally no reason for your husband to act the way he did to you.  A freaking dog would come comfort you if you were were sad.  To do what he did means that he is cold and callous toward you and your feelings and sees no reason why he should be involved in worrying about your feelings.  Which translates very loudly to how he feels about you overall.  It means he's not above doing anything that would hurt you.  Because it doesn't bother him if you hurt.  That's very, very dangerous in a relationship.  It's fatal.


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Wed Sep 27 1:04 pm  #43

Re: Thoughts


Sadly I'm familiar with this..  it was one of the hardest parts of my ex destroying the marriage by cheating.. the lack of empathy or compassion.    My tears were met with rage with scolding and contempt;  "dont cry in front of the kids,  your such a baby,  you need professional help,  grow up".    It is inhumane.   It is cruel.
It took me so long to come to accept the fact that I would get no comfort or anything from my ex as she
knew she was causing it...  all she could do was hurt me further and shift blame.  

I'm ok now.. I did get professional help.    A therapist, lawyer etc.    I'm away from her and her "broken moral core".    Its definitely hell  as we think these spouses we love had morals and ethics similiar to ours.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7

Wed Sep 27 11:52 pm  #44

Re: Thoughts

I have been fragmented. for 40 years.  you youngin's., run like your hairs on fire, thank god i found this site 


Thu Sep 28 8:35 pm  #45

Re: Thoughts

Run Sugar, run. Don't waste another moment. Your moment is now.


Thu Sep 28 8:46 pm  #46

Re: Thoughts

MY GOD, I just googled beard. And the hits just keep coming. 40 years of flashbacks. OMG


Thu Sep 28 8:48 pm  #47

Re: Thoughts

There is a specific word for me. Beard. i am sick  sicker


Thu Sep 28 8:59 pm  #48

Re: Thoughts

NO WONDER I am crazy. My God. Who would do this to another human being? I will tear up their worlds. Their alternate facts. Separate reality.  I am sooooo disappointed that i am on the DISCARD pile. Hey gotta move on. Right? I ain't in your closet any more. And you queens won't be in my closet much longer. I promise all and 'Sham'.   FU lying cheating sleazy skankie pants WHORE. Craiglist TROLL.  (o look, i put a sentence together.) and thats a start.


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