You are amazing OOHC, to cut through it all when it is so darn easy to be dragged back into that stinking closet. You go girl and keep that spirit flying until you are free to be happy again. You're an inspiration to me. Stealth mode is good, it will let you grow strength because you know once you reveal he will move heaven and earth to twist your reality again. I know you won't let him, you're gonna smash this. Get that heart sorted and then move on. And really, he should have been on the mattress not you! Very pleased to hear you have a proper bed.

I love it OOHC!   What a great post.  Good for you for being pro-active and realizing how good it feels. 

I was the same way.  I didn't actually want the divorce at that stage, but I found quickly that doing something proactive to moving forward with my life made me feel so much better.  I was in control of myself and my life and not just swaying in the wind.  Even though I didn't like the destination I felt so much better at least moving forward on a path. 

Keep it up my friend.. keep rowing that boat forward and you'll get through the storm and find a beautiful life. 

Dearest Out, I'm so very very proud of you!.... & even more excited for the new life & *you* you're already reshaping. I'll be following this thread so I can reread your beautiful summer journal as every other line was as though you were telling all of our stories. Bless you for sharing & I agree with others, you are an amazing & eloquent writer. Please keep writing for a future public share ;)