OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Is my ex husband gay

**Posted by Rob** August 31, 2017 4:54 pm

Stella,

Not sure what the terms of your divorce settlement are but I recommend no contact especially if your not co-parenting and the settlement says you are not. Contact will only bring you hurt and misery. These spouses do not think like us logically or ethically.
Him being gay or straight will not change anything. From what you wrote he will not change..this you know in your bones. NO CONTACT.

I am divorced from my abuser... her being gay was the icing on the cake..it made the horrible person she became final and absolute.

**Posted by Stella** August 31, 2017 5:12 pm

Thanks rob I thought I was happy all those years but I wrapped myself up in my children he started acting like a single man and I could not excuse mental abuse anymore which escalated to alcoholism and physical abuse the last year before I left .
I have gone no contact but it's difficult when your daughter wants to know why dad destroyed h
Family and he says send your mum my love in his letters sometimes/ he is jekyl and hyde

**Posted by Dee** August 31, 2017 7:09 pm

Hi Stella,

My guess is you were probably doing better emotionally before the door cracked back open a bit and he started worming his way back into your life. Your daughters are old enough that they can make their own decisions as to whether or not they want to pursue a relationship with him. Whether or not he's gay is beside the point now, he's treated all of you despicably, and you owe his absolutely nothing but silence. You will never, ever , get the whole story or the truth. Once I realized that and went no contact, I started to heal. Slam the door shut again. You can block your phone, and have his emails go straight to the trash bin where they belong. You all deserve better.

Good luck.

**Posted by Stella** September 1, 2017 2:55 am

Yes and no he wanted mediation instead of court I refused as I could not trust him I suppose I still have mixed emotions my life has not felt real since I left I was devastated .
My girls and family have been my lifeline as well as women's aid .i am happy though and know it takes time to grieve I use to cry all the time .
The dream was gone I had one sided dream I know I am working on acceptance I am healing I do not have regular contact we are not friends maybe I felt sorry for my daughters and remembered what we could have had but deep down I know we are better off on our own .