OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Have your partners seen this forum?

**Posted by Rob** August 7, 2017 4:18 pm

I read this today:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-told-boyfriend-kill-himself-094941612.html

It's my ex's "damaged moral core" that I am afraid of more than her horrible secret of being gay. The only reason she didn't tell me to kill myself or go die somewhere is needs she my money. Otherwise her treatment of me once she hooked up with her girlfriend was that I was worthless.suddenly garbage...not worth speaking to, looking at, or being around anymore. This progressed into pure hatred and abuse ..much more than contempt in her rage.

I do not think someone with such morals could read this board and have any empathy, compassion or understanding.

Last edited by Rob (August 7, 2017 4:19 pm)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 9, 2017 2:23 pm

To Lily
"well, Ellexoh - there you go, you've just served us up to your husband" No I did not
"I think you must want to stay married real bad" Yes I do...what's wrong with that?
"Only you're hurting real bad.." This is true
"...and you know what a lot of people do who stay married?" I'm not "a lot of people"
"...they take anti-depressants to cope" Been there, done that, not interested
"I don't recommend it" Then why say it?
"...but if you want to stay in your marriage then taking drugs will help" That's a cop-out, this is a process,
I am doing it my way.

**Posted by lily** August 9, 2017 5:35 pm

So did you tell him about the site or did he find it independently?

I think Daryl is right - not many GIDs read this site, they don't want to come here but if enough of them find it to start discussing it amongst themselves then we could have an onslaught of anonymous heckling.

Zsa Zsa Gabor quote - "Darleenk, you don't know the man you married until you divorce him."

there's a lot of truth in that. I was shocked all over again at the lengths my ex would go to protect his closet. I sympathise with the wish to get him out of his closet but my personal recommendation both from experience and the stories on this board is caution.

I want to emphasise - I am not being judgemental. who am I to talk, I spent 15 years sleeping on the sofa! well I bought a bed at some point which was an improvement.

**Posted by Daryl** August 9, 2017 5:43 pm

I rather doubt they have a discussion forum of their own to plan strategy ;)
In any event, I trust the admins to delete and block spammers and trolls. In my time here and on the original board it's been quite rare.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 9, 2017 5:52 pm

lily wrote:
So did you tell him about the site or did he find it independently?

I told him in my quest to understand what is happening....that I'd found a forum
where there was support...for me

**Posted by Still Wondering** August 9, 2017 8:23 pm

Hi Ellex - I was reading your response to Lily's questions and I was confused so I went back and read your post in the "our stories" section to make sure I had the right person.

I'm confused about why you want to "stay with him and what's wrong with that"? There's unfortunately a lot wrong with that if you're taking into account that you (we all) deserve better. Why would you want to stay with this person ? I get the financial reasons. That can be really difficult. But are there any other reasons than just because you've already spent 32 years? Can you imagine a future where you've wasted another 20 years pretending all of this isn't happening?

If the only reason is financial and you truly don't see any way out then stay but make your own life. Ignore him and do your own thing. Have a completely separate life. If he can use you for a cover then you can use him for finances. But if you see any way out of it where you can make it on your own then run.