OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / response to HuffPost article

**Posted by Sue** August 1, 2016 8:45 am

I don't know how many of you read the article in HuffPost that this response refers to, but the link is included in the response article. I read the HuffPost article when it was published and I was appalled. Be sure to read the well-thought out comments on it.

Here's a response from SSN and it's wonderful:

http://www.straightspouse.org/frankly-my-dear-i-am-the-victim-of-homophobia-too/

**Posted by WendiT** August 1, 2016 9:22 am

Thank you Sue for posting this. I would have definitely missed it otherwise. The author, Kristin Kalbli, is so spot on and clear in her response.

**Posted by Kel** August 1, 2016 10:14 am

What a wonderful response.

I hate that these people are regarded as the ONLY victims in these scenarios. Their children are victims, too. If someone hurts your parent, it's not only your business, but your right to be angry and upset about it. It doesn't matter if the one that hurt them is your other parent. They also have the right to feel anger and pain that they've been lied to their entire lives until disclosure. It is a huge breach of trust that some of these children never get over.

Kel

**Posted by travelingsolo** August 1, 2016 7:30 pm

I just read both articles. Kristin's truth is exactly my experience. My adult children also feel that their whole life was a sham. They all are confused and have left relationships because they doubt their ability to ever be a parent or in a committed relationship. They all say they will never get married. They are angry and getting no truth from their GIDdad. The damage that homophobia has done to families is extreme and the Straight spouse voice is rarely heard.
I just read the book 'My husband is Gay' by Carol Grever. Some of the stats are outdated but her story is worth reading. Although we think we have come a long way with Gay Pride parades, people's attitudes haven't changed much over the past 20 years.

**Posted by BryonM** August 2, 2016 3:07 pm

Why not also post our responses on the comments section at the bottom of the HuffPost article, where they will probably be seen by a wider audience than on our blog here? If we want our voices and stories to be heard...

There was a response on HuffPost from another gay man who took Rick Clemons to task for his attitude. If you look at some of his earlier op-eds from a few years ago, it seems like he did get our perspectives too, he's reasonable and sympathetic to us in this article from 2014. I don't understand why he took such a different tone now, unless he thought he was addressing hardcore bona fide anti-gay folks, and thought he had already covered our perspectives. Because he's clear about both gay and straight spouses in this article; he does (or did) get it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rick-clemons/the-closet-door-swings-bo_b_5663326.html?