Heard this old one the other day and it acted as a trigger;..I know not a strong optimist song...

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

But I'll never forget the way
You feel right now, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
No, I won't do that
..

Meatloaf - I'll do anything for love


Made me think  about the trauma bonding I had  or insane loyalty....really how I would have done anything for my then wife.  I loved her.
But I could not put up with the cruelty and cheating.   I could not light myself on fire. 
I still possess fierce love, kindness  and loyalty...she rejected it.,..it doesn't mean I didn't give it.

I'm doing so much better now....I look back with sadness and some reverie  ...   I look forward with curiosity and hope.