Hello!  You'll find that it's very common for lots of people to read it before you get a reply.  We have lots of "lurkers".  I was once one of them many years ago.  Many people come here to read but (for many reasons) are not ready to post yet. 

I couldn't find a support group in my city either.  This website was my lifeline through some of the crappiest times.  Welcome. 

New Zealand,   looks beautiful from what I've seen.  Not sure how the weather is there now but its one of the places I want to go if I ever travel.

A warm kind welcome.    I cant help much with find a live SSN there but feel free to post here..  If anything you'll find kind, normal people who can empathize and say "we get it...it's not you".  I agree sometime I'd like to visti eveyone on the forum and give them a big hug.   

PS:  I read your story and, while I had a blatantly cheating wife,  can only say this is not your fault.   You are in shock.   I urge you though while in shock to make prudent decisions.  (yes its double hard to do this while in shock).   Start taking small steps for yourself...find all your financial info.   Make an appoint to check out a lawyer.
See phychiastrist to get anti-depressants if necessary..  Process hurt but also realize it is an emergency..in an emergency you call on appropriate help...doctor, lawyer, famly  etc.

 

Last edited by Rob (July 4, 2017 8:00 am)

Signature indeed..

I gave up so much of myself trying in the marriage. .lit myself on fire and then some.   I recall her going out with her girlfriend until all hours and I was wondering what I did wrong.  She had me conditioned for years to accept blame for eveything. So many years.

I'm out now and it's enlightening.
I see how abnormal my life was.
There is a world and universe out there that is not centered around our spouses/exspouses.

I'm in central Illinois, too.  And right now I'm at the seaside (the Atlantic)...for a month.