OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Snooping days are over (for now)

**Posted by iamthelorax** April 28, 2017 12:50 pm

Regardless of the reason, you're only going to drive yourself insane tracking his behavior. Cut him off, don't get involved, push him away from you. It sucks the big one but it will save you so much grief.

Last edited by iamthelorax (April 28, 2017 12:57 pm)

**Posted by Lisa4kids** April 28, 2017 4:12 pm

Not to mention we haven't used a condom since October of 2000. Hahaha. He had a vasectomy in 2006 also.
Oh and we don't have sex. Not in almost 26 mo
He doesn't know I know about the condoms.

Last edited by Lisa4kids (April 28, 2017 4:14 pm)

**Posted by Lisa4kids** April 28, 2017 4:16 pm

iamthelorax wrote:
Regardless of the reason, you're only going to drive yourself insane tracking his behavior. Cut him off, don't get involved, push him away from you. It sucks the big one but it will save you so much grief.

Ugh. He is allllll over me today. I don't want to be touched or hold hands. Why start that up now??
Maybe his date didn't work out and he's turning back to me

**Posted by Shari** April 28, 2017 8:31 pm

Lisa,
You have your proof and answers. Why would he need condoms? Obviously not to use with you!!!
I understand about not approaching him but at this point you might as well stop snooping and spend some time figuring out how to separate or how to approach the matter with him that is safe for you
BTW, my GIDH would always always always be soooo much more attentive, physical and lovey dovey after he cheated.... He said it was his guilt.
You deserve sanity.... this isn't it!
Shari

**Posted by Lisa4kids** April 28, 2017 10:10 pm

Shari. I considered he was loving today because he screwed around yesterday.
We are watching a show that has gay men on it and he made some rude comment about some guy needing to calm down by getting a d*ck in his *ss. I just rolled my eyes.
He confuses me so much and I'm tired of this.
My travel business website is almost ready and then I'm going to get to work at making it a success. Something that is mine. All mine. He can't hurt it like he has me.

**Posted by Demons-halo** April 28, 2017 11:57 pm

Good luck and I hope it is a success.

**Posted by Rob** April 29, 2017 7:50 am

"...All mine. He can't hurt it like he has me..."

Right..you go Lisa. The physical aspect of our marriage is destroyed by them. My ex did this like a light switch..hooked up with her girlfriend and then she no longer wanted me touching her in anyway..no hugs ..absolutely no physical contact. Like it was normal...just sudden outright rejection.. But many months before this she had this sudden urge for more sex...so I went from crazy for me to do not touch me in any way in a matter if months.
Physical rejection over years seems just as cruel just more covert and subtle so one thinks it normal.

Oh and straight guys do not make comments about gay sex if watching a show where there are gay characters. It disgust us really.

You go..just go. Every tiny step you take for yourself gives you something they can't take away and ruin. I still lock my doors at night thinking she's going to come back declaring she is entitled to everything... such was her conviction of entitlement. But she did not take my soul.

**Posted by Lisa4kids** April 29, 2017 1:21 pm

Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement.
I also need to lose weight so I feel better about myself. It's amazing how the damage to our psyches can affect so many aspects of life.

I'm still confused over how he acted yesterday (nice) but
Today he was a bit too excited that I was taking all the kids to The beach overnight. He didn't want to come which is odd. He hates being left out. I didn't want him to come but offered anyway

I wonder what he will be up to tonight?

**Posted by Daryl** April 29, 2017 3:31 pm

Why should you care what he is up to as long as you and the kids are safely away from it?
I don't ask this to be cruel, sometimes we all need someone outside the cray-cray to ask the difficult questions.

It sounds like you know your direction, focus on that, everything else is just a distraction from the goal line. Peace and strength!

**Posted by Lisa4kids** April 29, 2017 4:03 pm

I care because I want to be armed with knowledge.
I also don't want him banging anyone in MY bed.
I don't care enough that it's consuming me but I'd like to know what he's up to.