OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Whew ... I was having withdrawal!

**Posted by donna** June 26, 2016 1:12 am

Hi Robben I read your email. could you explain how you helped you wife to overcome the trauma of your "coming out". i have experience the trauma of my husband "coming out" in the early stage of our marriage. to me, it was a culture shock. I have lived with depression, shame and sometime anger inside for many years. he has continued the life style periodically over the years and now he appears to be more consistent with it. he does not talk to me much about it and i need understanding. we are now in our 22nd year of marriage we are both Christians. tell me how to view the situation.

**Posted by gratefuldeadgirl80** March 13, 2017 5:17 pm

Rob wrote:
Hey..i found the place.. As others find it we should probably give them some reassurances for being offline so for so long;

- You did nothing wrong
- You are worthy and lovable
- There is nothing you can do to make your spouse gay
- You are not crazy or imagining it.
- Be kind and compassionate to yourself
- Take small steps each day for yourself
..

Thank You! I'm new here and not really sure how to post things but I just read yours. I want to just say thank you. I know I'm not crazy. I know it but he will make me think I am when I being up "the issues". Thank you.

**Posted by gratefuldeadgirl80** March 13, 2017 5:30 pm

Hi everyone. I'm sorry that I'm posting this in probably the wrong place but I've been reading all your posts for last 2 weeks, and having trouble just loging in. I feel kind of desperate for help right now...just to chat with someone who might understand my situation even if just a little bit. My fiance is bi sexual. I know this because it's just not normal to be a straight man and have a gay man text you about sex.. I know I have to move on from this situation and I'm desperately seeking help. Thank You, Jen

**Posted by Foolme** March 14, 2017 2:38 am

Gratefuldeadgirl180, I second what jkpeace says, run for the hill now while you can before you get everything tangled up with him like so many of us here. A lot of gays identify as BI before deciding they're actually GAY......if you don't want to run for the hills please take time out, reflect on this and take it S L O W !! Keep posting too!! x

**Posted by Kel** March 14, 2017 12:18 pm

I'm here! I'm always lurking. Lol. Been busy of late - we closed on a house yesterday! And then moved ourselves. Still more to do today, and I already feel like a zombie. This is my first home since my now-driving teenager was a year old. my youngest child has never lived in a house besides a rental. We're all very excited! We're in suburban Chicagoland, and we've gone something like 90 days with no measurable snow. Day of the closing - BAM - it's still accumulating now. Moving while it's snowing is no fun, let me tell ya. We finally fell into bed last night around 1 am, and I'm having such a busy week at work that I NEED to be here. Ugh.

I'm here for encouragement! I haven't been as actively lately since we've been sorting, packing, doing all the financial work for the mortgage, etc. And now we'll be unpacking for a while. But I'm here!

Kel

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** March 14, 2017 12:27 pm

Congratulations, Kel! How nice it must feel to be in your own home!
Sorry about the snow! Hope you get a chance to sit down at some point and enjoy the snow through the windows of your new place.

**Posted by Kel** March 14, 2017 1:59 pm

OMG, I can't let the boxes not bother me! They're EVERYwhere! My rental had a HUGE kitchen, and it's going to be a challenge to find places for everything. On the plus side, I have a basement now - to shove all the unopened boxes into. Lol..

Thanks for the congrats!

Jk, where did you move to after Downer's Grove? I'm in LaGrange now. I was in Brookfield all these years.

Kel

**Posted by Foolme** March 15, 2017 2:53 am

Congratulations on the house Kel, there's no rush on emptying the boxes, they'll wait, take time to breath!

I'm actually 5mths in MY new house TODAY, I got it sorted eventually, didn't rush it and it all just happened organically. I too had the challenge of where to put everything, after moving from a large kitchen to a relatively small one, I got a shed to use as a utility and extra storage, it works perfectly!

**Posted by maresyd** March 15, 2017 7:08 pm

Kel, I'll be driving by you in a few weeks on the way to see my brother in Orland Park! I'll virtutally wave.

**Posted by Clif** March 16, 2017 11:08 am

Sounds like I have a few fellow citizens here. I am about 75 mile south of Chicago.