OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Back and Forth, about to make myself crazy..........er

**Posted by Rob** March 4, 2017 8:02 pm

Mares

Your poem made me cry.

In this life.. I loved absolutely.
But I never knew such hurt existed.

**Posted by Rob** March 5, 2017 12:49 am

Mares

Your poem made me cry.

In this life.. I loved absolutely.
But I never knew such hurt existed.

**Posted by maresyd** March 5, 2017 6:08 am

Hi all,
I didn't want to make you cry!
I'm really touched that the writing is speaking to you.
As you know it came from my heart.

The great news for JenS, Rob, and jkpeace is that you are moving or have moved through the pain.

Big huge long hug to you guys.

**Posted by JJ1966** March 6, 2017 11:05 am

Maresyd

Truer words were never spoken (or written). It amazes me, to watch him, as he happily makes his plans and buys his plane ticket that he can't see all the destruction he has rained down. As he walks through the boxes of what our lives once held, casually deciding what he no longer treasures enough to keep. The irony of the situation is completely lost on him.

Christmas ornaments our kids made, pictures of vacations, cards, decorations, furniture .... our bed? Don't listen to me today. I'm still wiped out, I'll sign off until I can get it together...you guys don't need to be reminded of what this is, you have all been through it. Peace and love.

Jo

**Posted by Foolme** March 6, 2017 4:02 pm

JJ1966 I hear ya re the going through the household stuff.......mine looked at family portraits from about 14 years ago saying "they're a bit dated now"........this captured our kids in their teens, how can that be "dated"? It was our family at that time!!

My last memory of the final clear out of the family home was a skip (not sure if it's called a skip in USA) in the driveway filled with the last of what we didn't want and there on the top was our mattress...........I just said to my son that's quite fitting.........he looked and saw what I meant and agreed.

**Posted by JJ1966** March 7, 2017 9:23 am

Sorry guys....here's a new one.....he had the nerve to look at me and asked me why I am so angry and so distant?....REALLY? oh no he didn't ! (as my youngest would say). This of course was a tactic to start a fight, seems he knew the kids where coming over and I didn't. Luckily I remembered this manipulation from the past and didn't fall for it. I just told him I was fine, he tried to press it, but I just excused myself. So when the kids came in he couldn't point and say, "see what I put up with?"

see you can teach an old dog new tricks.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** March 7, 2017 10:18 am

Been there, heard that! When I came back from my first therapy appointment and told my husband I was at the top of the anxiety scale, he said, "Is there anything I can do?" Ah-hahahahaha! As if living in his closet weren't the reason for my anxiety!

**Posted by Rob** March 7, 2017 11:10 am

JJ,
".. Luckily I remembered this manipulation from the past and didn't fall for it.."

Good for you.. NO CONTACT or low contact is key.. Whether they be silent to us with the silent treatment or are trying to start an argument..they get from us..nothing...no reply....silence...crickets.
It took me a long time to realize if my now ex's lips are moving she is lying..if she is saying something true there is still some other motive behind it. And always any word can set her off into a rage. Why take part in a conversation on eggshells.

**Posted by maresyd** March 7, 2017 7:38 pm

OutofHisCloset,

Thanks for making me laugh out loud after a very long day! Is there anything I can do?.....hahahahaha

How we would all answer that one.....

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** March 7, 2017 10:22 pm

Maresyd,
Yes, it's laugh inducing. With a bitter note. What I replied to his question ("Is there anyting I can do?") was a deflection: "How about flowers, wine, chocolate and a beach house?" He actually brought me the first three of those the next day--and he's never brought me flowers in over 30 years of marriage! Then he did the same two weeks later, right after my second therapy appointment. He's in the "win her back" stage. Sad, really.