OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages

**Posted by Hildur** January 15, 2017 1:20 pm

I live in a no fault state and yes, there were numerous infidelities and some long term relationships he had and has.

**Posted by Rob** January 15, 2017 1:36 pm

Hildur,
Divorce attorney yes. Tell them about the inheritance and the cheating and the gay thing. Divorce is strictly a business/financial separation. In a no fault state TGT and cheating does not matter but the "inheritance" was
acquired during the marriage.. it is martial asset. He gets half of your stuff too but remember..he is also entitled to half of the debt.

Slow and steady..do what needs to be done..what is moral and right. A divorce lawyer worth their salt will protect your interest and will not waiver due to your spouses narcissism.

**Posted by Sunflower** January 15, 2017 1:46 pm

My inheritance is not part of the divorce. Bring up his to the attorney.

Last edited by Sunflower (January 15, 2017 1:47 pm)

**Posted by Hildur** January 15, 2017 5:09 pm

The inheritance was left in a trust fund in his name only!

**Posted by Sunflower** January 15, 2017 5:22 pm

Tell your attorney everything. Start keeping notes so you remember things you want to discuss. I kept a notebook of questions and things to do. I think you will find this helpful, just write down things as you think of them. Check them of as you have finished them. It helps you to feel you have accomplished something. I found going through this I wasn't able to remember thoughts or what i needed to do. It is such a confusing time. Good luck

**Posted by Hildur** January 15, 2017 5:26 pm

I am not sure that i am entitled to any of it. He tells me that i can't touch it!

**Posted by Hildur** January 15, 2017 7:03 pm

our children are adults now and he is busy lying to them and buying them off.
He has stolen money from me through the years, i just can't prove it. I invested in real estate that he "managed". there is hardly any equity left in the real estate. He planned this very carefully and for at least 25 years

**Posted by Rob** January 15, 2017 7:16 pm

Hildur wrote:
I am not sure that i am entitled to any of it. He tells me that i can't touch it!

During a divorce it has to be listed. Let the lawyers decide how things are divided. If it was given to him while you were married..in my state ...that is something acquired during the marriage. Ie..if my inlaws gave my then wife thousands if dollars and she put it in her secret savings account (which I found and listed on the financial papers) it is divided. If the money is given before your married that is a different story...

**Posted by Hildur** January 15, 2017 8:41 pm

Yes, I have 4 adult sons

**Posted by Hildur** January 16, 2017 9:17 pm

The trust fund was set up during our marriage,