OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / For straight spouses over 50 in long marriages

**Posted by Sunflower** January 8, 2017 4:22 pm

I have been thinking that for the older spouses of gay partners we are dealing with some different issues than younger people on this forum. Maybe we could start a thread about what we deal with going through TGT. Our finances now that we are in our retirement years,dealing with the betrayal problems in our later years, health issues, housing difficulties, how to move on.

I have been married for 31 years, I am now 71 years old. My children live in Ca. and Ct. So I am without family as I live in Arizona. Sometimes I feel so alone, I have friends but I think about if something happens to me. Do you think about being alone? What fears do you have?

I know there are some older people here. Should we start a thread such as this?

**Posted by Sunflower** January 8, 2017 4:25 pm

Should have been posted in General Discussions

**Posted by Lake Breeze** January 8, 2017 8:24 pm

Sunflower - I think the idea of a special thread for us older people is a good idea, and that yes, there are some unique things associated with it. Thanks for proposing it.

I also wonder if it wouldn't be good to have a separate thread for those whose spouses have never "owned" their gayness and who continue to deny. I think there are also some notable differences for those whose spouses actually acknowledged their homosexuality versus those who never have and likely never will. I seem to have observed that most of those who have gone on more successfully on this forum, actually got an acknowledgement of some kind from their spouses about their true sexual orientation. It seems to me that those who never get an "admission" do not fare as well as those who do. Just my observation, but I could be wrong.

Older and with no admission, is quite a category to be in.

**Posted by Sunflower** January 8, 2017 9:07 pm

Lake Breeze, I agree we should have a separate thread, I thought I was doing that and realized it was on Sean's thread. I don't know how to start a new thread.
Yes, we do have different topics than our younger members. I agree that those that have had had their spouse finally tell what the problem in the marriage has been for many years are better able to move on.I wish that for once in his miserable life he had been honest rather than leave me to figure it out.

**Posted by Sunflower** January 8, 2017 11:26 pm

Jkpeace, please go ahead and do that. I would appreciate you doing that.

**Posted by Hildur** January 13, 2017 7:35 pm

I have been married for over 35 years to a gay man. He suddenly filed for a divorce after inheriting over one million dollars that his mother placed in a trust fund for him. He worked very little in our marriage and is going for half of my assets!
He says that he is bisexual.
I recently started PTSD treatment

**Posted by Sunflower** January 13, 2017 7:51 pm

Hildur, sorry you find yourself here. I would suggest you hire an Attorney right away. I am happy you are being treated for PTSD. It is a very traumatic event to go through. Keep posting,you will hear from very good people here. Take care of yourself.

**Posted by Dee** January 14, 2017 8:10 am

Yes Hildur,
Please consult an attorney ASAP.

**Posted by Hildur** January 15, 2017 12:16 pm

Thank you for your advice,

I have an attorney, but she is only a divorce attorney. Should I include in the proceedings that he is a closet gay?

**Posted by Sunflower** January 15, 2017 1:05 pm

That's good she is a divorce attorney,yes, tell her about him being gay. If you live in a no fault state,it won't matter. Tell her anyway. Good for you, you are starting the process. It will be hard,try to stay strong throughout this. Keep posting,we are here for you.