OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / What the GID men say

**Posted by Jess** August 25, 2016 3:34 am

After a long term marriage the GIDX will say that his wife went crazy, went menopausal, left him, divorced him, only thinks of herself, and ruined him financially. If she finds someone else and moves on with her life after being totally devastated and after the divorce, then the story becomes that she left him for another man.

**Posted by Dixie** August 25, 2016 8:04 am

Ah yes. Image protection. It is early days (4 months from Dday and having him move out after 30 years of cheating with a man) and I have learned that he is saying I am "depressed from having to move away from my friends and family." and I "won't agree to go to marriage counseling so the marriage can't be fixed." I suspect there is worse, but those are the ones that have gotten back to me so far.

**Posted by Rob** August 25, 2016 11:37 am

They seem to rewrite the past.   Mine said "you were never around for X years"
Where was I ? ... I went to work... I came home.. I gave her attention ... I have hardly any hobbies. I was up at night with her taking care of our one kid so she could sleep.   Was I there when the kids got off the bus at 2:30pm..no, only on some days.      But I was not
out drinking, gambling ,cheating. I did not go on any business travel.   Every nano-second was spent either at work or home. I gave her all my time...there was not a second left in the day I could be somewhere else physically or emotionally.

When her affair started she would text her girlfriend all day and all night while I lay in bed beside her begging her for attention.

But now she tells people what a horrible husband and father I was...the real reason for the divorce ...the woman holding her hand... oh they are just good friends...comforting each other over their horrible husbands.

Last edited by Rob (August 25, 2016 11:39 am)

**Posted by John** August 25, 2016 3:00 pm

Yeah, GIDs do that.

About 6 months after divorcing her, my ex brother in law chastised my not sharing 2 small family inheritances with her as principle reason she finally had to leave me (for those younger women she was having great sex with! -- and I filed the divorce!)

I calmly rebutted that I’d used those SEPARATE FUNDS to pay for family vacations, her new car, our son’s tuition & house down pmt, retirement savings, etc.

I closed with, “I decided to maintain separate accounts 10+ years ago, when she was f---ing somebody while we were in counseling and one day coyly asked, ‘Where do you keep your money?’

These self-serving liars take no responsibilities and describe an alternate universe.

Expect it. Ignore it. Move on to "Meh". http://www.chumplady.com/2016/08/dear-chump-lady-lost-moral-high-ground-told-people-wife-cheating/

- John

**Posted by Jack** August 26, 2016 1:46 pm

Four years past...
She is now claiming she new nothing about being gay until a week before she came out. At first she claimed it was one year. Soon she will claim she discovered a month after I guess😀 The funny thing is she came out soon after I told her I didn't want more kids.
I caught her looking at dating sites numerous times, long before the closet imploded. At that point I didn't bother even letting her know I caught her as I knew she would start yelling about me not respecting her privacy, so I never discovered if it was lesbian dating sites.
Anything to make her look better I guess.

We went to counseling recently, to improve our cooperation in parenting. The root cause is me not really trusting her, which is kinda hard when she keeps changing the story to make her look better... Looking forward to the day the kids are old enough to make their own decisions!

**Posted by Meg** October 12, 2016 6:01 pm

Yep, according to my in-denial gay ex-husband, I left him for another man.
I was also the one who never wanted to have sex because I was depressed.
I'm also a bad Christian woman for not letting my husband lead. I have a Jezebel spirit.
I had sex with too many men before we got married.
Every guy watches gay porn and is curious about being with other men.
He's "straight with an attraction to men"
He was willing to have se with me so there should be no problem
It was none of my business what he fantasized about.
He wasn't attracted to those men, just re-enacting childhood trauma.

And the classic: "I was drunk and didn't go through with it"

**Posted by Rob** October 13, 2016 6:37 am

I thought about adding the crazy things I've witnessed and heard from my crazy GIDX.. they defy all logic and morals. The most talented writers could not make this stuff up.

But then it dawned on me ..if their lips are moving they are lying. They try to rewrite or change reality..one cannot stop them. All we can do is get away.
One cannot live in their lies.

**Posted by Still Wondering** October 13, 2016 9:26 am

Some of my favorites from my GID ex...

"All men look at gay porn, they just don't admit it"".
It's not a big deal, I can stop at any time".
"I didn't know it bothered you" (did the first two times I cried not give you a hint)?
"The dildo was for you"
"Those naked pics were for you"
"I thought you'd like this red G-string I ordered for myself"....Yes, clearly I love that we now get gay men's underwear catalogs in our mailbox.

The one quote that I now live by when I figure out someone is a manipulator is this quote from my ex boyfriend that I dated in my 20s. He used to say this about his loser brother: believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.

Yes, sometimes even what you see is a lie because they are crafting things to fit the creation that is their life. My ex started planting websites for me to find about how some wives like to use dildos on their husbands and it's perfectly normal for men to want something up their rear. This was shortly after I found a dildo and he tried to convince me it was for me. And then he would delete all the gay porn he had viewed before and after the video he planted. Except for when he forgot. Ridiculous.

**Posted by JJ1966** December 22, 2016 8:42 am

some of mine were...

"I let my gay friend take those pics of me for his birthday, he always wanted them"
"I was Bi-curious"
"I brought them to our house because I felt safe here"
"I didn't have anyone in your car someone was probably standing outside"

the last because I am a former smoker who can't stand the smell, I can smell it if someone is smoking in the car behind us on the road with their windows open, it makes me ill.

Last edited by JJ1966 (December 23, 2016 2:10 pm)

**Posted by iamthelorax** December 22, 2016 11:06 am

"I only started dating her when you started dating someone else. She had nothing to do with it even though she was living with me since the day I left you"