OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I WON'T KEEP YOUR SECRET!

**Posted by LC** December 17, 2016 12:06 pm

To All,
Although mine hasn't admitted to anything, I know the truth.
Tried for weeks to get him to tell the truth, HA HA. He used me for 20 yrs to keep his secret.

So yesterday I told him

I WON'T KEEP YOUR SECRET!

He told me I was sick in the head.

He flipped me off.

I had said in previous post that I didn't want to ask/accuse possibly a straight man with other problems. Well I'm past the point of that view.
When I made the statement a few days go why a man could lay in a bed with a woman and not have sex,
1. Medical ED problem.
2. Doesn't like women.
The only response, was he now understood why I said I would no longer be his cover a few weeks ago. He didn't blow up, confirm or deny.

This is my life I have already given him a faithful 20 years and not another day!
I'm jobless, broken hearted, penniless, spouseless(is that a word lol) and a forging forward.
This is hard, I do love him, always will and have no regrets for loving him. He loves me, but it isn't enough for him. I feel sorry for him in the life he has carved out for himself. It is a black hole for mine that he will never come to terms with like some do. His culture & religion will keep him from that. It will always be a secret with random people with another female as a cover at some point. As the cycle goes it will all keep coming around and biting him in the butt.
As for me I'm "coming out" of secrecy land! 💔🤕👣👬🙈🙉🙊😊

I WON'T KEEP YOUR SECRET!

Love & Encouragement to All Hurting SS's

Forge forward troopers!

May God Bless us all with Peace, Tenacity, Clarity!

Last edited by LC (December 17, 2016 12:48 pm)

**Posted by LC** December 17, 2016 12:59 pm

Sorry jkpeace,
I hadn't finished my post, had more to say as usual lol.
Yes I know, I originally thought depression (lots of other junk in his life) was why I seen the crappy behavior. It's only recently that the clarity started. I stated in another post "ENCOURAGEMENT LADIES" that keeping quiet and listening was most revealing. I've done that, and am confident with what I've heard. The deception goes deep, and I'm not willing or going to be a part of it anymore. Although I was clueless as to what I was being a part of.
Quote from a movie:
Run Forrest Run
Just call me Forrest 😊

**Posted by JJ1966** December 17, 2016 9:20 pm

LC you have such courage, hope and strength, I wish I was more like you.

**Posted by Ontheroad** December 17, 2016 10:07 pm

LC

What was your final telltale realization - because your post could have been mine exactly-

**Posted by Judy** December 18, 2016 6:41 am

LC,

I think the man I loved for almost half a decade never did exist. The image I conjured up to love isn't anything like he was in reality when I actually look back on it realistically. He's been a raging asshole the entire time but I guess I just didn't want to admit to myself I made this gigantic error in judgment because well, I am smarter than that. When we first split I told everybody. Those I knew, neighbors, and many strangers, Comcast reps (LOL). I wanted to see if they had the same shock I was feeling to give me some perspective. It wasn't intentional but was just what I needed at the time. I was so shocked and so hurt. Throwing mine out was the best thing I ever did. I can't wait for 2017. My first year single.

**Posted by LC** December 18, 2016 1:35 pm

Ontheroad,
I'm not sure of a final tell tale...it has been accumulated puzzle pieces being put together. He's been floating so much crap my way since September and blaming me for everything.

**Posted by LC** December 18, 2016 1:44 pm

And with all these posts, I'm at the hospital right now waiting for him to get out of surgery. He broke his leg last night. When I got to the hospital I got a load of gaslighting for not leaving to go get him some chew since he can't smoke at the hospital. Told me I was the biggest pain in his ass, he didn't know why he called me down here, he should have called someone else. I asked then why didn't you. More about that in another post, going to try and sleep, been up about 30 hrs...exhausted.

**Posted by Ontheroad** December 18, 2016 6:49 pm

Judy

I think you're confusing two different posts- LC is in the hospital with her husband -
S is my hubbys friend 😊😊😊 a million miles away

**Posted by Judy** December 18, 2016 6:52 pm

I knew where she was but yes, I am still hanging onto the story about "S" because I have him only he's a "J". Identical story.

Thanks-I deleted my post and I'll post another

**Posted by Judy** December 18, 2016 7:09 pm

LC,

Unbelievable timing and he's already using the situation to dump on you. You don't deserve it.

YOU are in my prayers. Fasten your seatbelt. I've had a broken leg and this is going to be a bumpy ride especially when it takes place at this point in your life and he can use it for sympathy.

Judy