OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Back to nuclear

**Posted by iamthelorax** December 7, 2016 12:43 pm

A wise person on this board described her mood swings as "nuclear to apathetic and back to nuclear".

I'm currently nuclear. SHE came to my place yesterday to deliver the kids' dry winter boots as it had started snowing soon after they came to my place. Her presence irritated me but she was pleasant and the little one was happy to see her. All was well until the little one went upstairs to finish getting dressed for school and SHE (capitalized for extra venom) started with small talk about how she fixed our son's coat and the weather these days. All I can say is it triggered me. I cannot fathom how you can do what she did, burn the calories it takes to deny the truth exactly as much is it takes to try and seem innocent and then try to smile in my face and comment on the snow.

I'm furious right now. Thank goodness people are in meetings most of the day, I think I'm ready to snap someone's head off. Thanks for letting me vent, it's either here or in the face of the next person who asks me to do something ;)

**Posted by phoenix** December 7, 2016 1:12 pm

I'm with you today. I'm two days from divorce hearing in court. I have to keep it together until then.

She's been lying to me about her affair. She's been insulting me and saying awful things about me.

I'm so torn right now. I want to love her because I always have. I want to hate her because she's turned into the worst human on the planet. UGH

I've skipped two meetings today.. it's easier for me to keep my head down and just do mindless excel work..

**Posted by Rob** December 7, 2016 8:25 pm

Do whatever you have to do to get through the day. I don't think we will ever know how these spouses can live with themselves. Its narcissism and, in my case. she's possibly a sociopath also. No, she would never attempt to make any small talk with me.. we are no contact.

I recall her; things said with such conviction they must true...if she writes it down it makes it true.. Example; At some point in one of her rages she decided to twist it back to me and say I cheated.. she said it with such conviction... I know I would never do that and she knows it too.. NO.. its gaslighting taken to the nth degree. There was , then , no real truth in anything she said... I think we are all only guilty of loving them...but they need to justify what they did. We'll never know how they morally do it... I know I could not.

Last edited by Rob (December 7, 2016 8:28 pm)

**Posted by iamthelorax** December 7, 2016 10:43 pm

Thanks guys. It's passing and I'm back to my less-than-unusual self. There's nothing to deny here, her presence triggers me to get hateful. Hopefully some day that won't happen.

Rob, sorry to hear she's pulling that crap on you. You know the truth, try to keep the source of that accusation in mind. Good luck.

lostdad: I also noticed that tedious work distracts me enough to pass my moods. Hopefully you made kick-butt spreadsheets LOL

Last edited by iamthelorax (December 7, 2016 10:45 pm)

**Posted by iamthelorax** December 8, 2016 3:02 pm

Same here jk, unless there's need to talk about the kids she's on the no-flight list for me ;)

I'm sure it'll pass. We've survived worse, we will heal through this.

**Posted by iamthelorax** December 8, 2016 6:30 pm

I've survived almost losing my wife to cancer (stage 4, went to her spine but luckily she responded well to medicine) and a schizophrenic step son who was on the verge of being suicidal/homicidal in my basement (spent some time living in my car).

Sounds like you've lived through some serious life experiences. You're strong, you will thrive. Have faith

**Posted by Rob** December 9, 2016 2:42 pm

jk, lorax.

Yes NO CONTACT.. Listen to Tom again if you have to :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3womK70af0

In regards to what we've all been through yes and yes.. We've been through many health problems with the kids....thought it would make us closer and stronger.. So many perils in the world and they go and create
a new one...