OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Exhaustion

**Posted by walkbymyself** September 6, 2024 7:45 am

I'm still struggling with it.

**Posted by Jupiter1** September 6, 2024 10:01 am

Has anyone found a face to face support group for straight spouses and did that help? I got together with a local our path group, nice folks but it was a very general hang out group I think because most people were pretty far removed from their discovery and in their cases subsequent divorce. And maybe didn’t actually want to reexperience those traumatic memories, I understand.

My issue is separation from a cross dressing/queer-identifying spouse. The internet offers me up Beaumont society or pride centers where I can learn to be more supportive, of course, but nothing by way of support for the straight spouse on their journey.

I’m in the states and have looked at divorce care groups. Not sure about that either. Initially I told the dozen or so close friends and family what’s going on but have reached my limit to whom I want to tell the real story.

**Posted by Anon 765** September 6, 2024 5:32 pm

Hi Jupiter1,

I would like to have a few friends in person (or on video) or a support group who have been through the same thing. Last time I checked, there wasn't an Our Path group in my city, but this is a good reminder to check again.

People get the divorce part, but not the sexuality part. They're either too curious, or too "Yay, he's living authentically!". And I haven't found a divorce support group that isn't religious - nothing against that, it's just not for me.

That said, as time goes on, and with understanding friends and good therapy, I honestly feel less and less like I care about telling "the whole story". At first, however, I wanted to shout it from rooftops and publish it on the front page of the news! I guess this is a sign of healing - it takes up less place in my head, and I do feel heard and seen. Maybe not by him, but by enough people that I believe my feelings are right and justified. I definitely appreciate the patient support of my few close friends who did a LOT of listening in the early months!

Anon 765

**Posted by EleanorIsntHere** September 6, 2024 7:49 pm

Anon 765 wrote:
I would like to have a few friends in person (or on video) or a support group who have been through the same thing. Last time I checked, there wasn't an Our Path group in my city, but this is a good reminder to check again.

Anon, if you are open to a few of us meeting on zoom every so often outside of the official our path groups I’d be interested! I am lucky to have an in person our path support group in my town but I haven’t gone yet, I might try the next meeting in a couple weeks.

**Posted by Anon 765** September 9, 2024 6:28 pm

Hi Eleanor,

I am trying to find out if there are Zoom meetings. I was in contact with a volunteer a while back for personal support, and I asked her if there's a local group in my area, or any online opportunities. When I hear back, I'll let you know.

Anon 765

**Posted by Sam (Admin)** September 9, 2024 7:53 pm

Anon,
Your contact should have access to a spreadsheet of online opportunities by time zone. If she cannot give you a lead, contact OurPath again.