OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Why has she gotten more attractive?

**Posted by seansayswords** September 8, 2024 7:57 pm

I don’t know if it’s because, despite, or unrelated to my wife coming out as a lesbian, but I’ve found her increasingly more attractive over the past few weeks. It’s maddening to know how attractive I find her and also know I really can’t ever touch her in a romantic or intimate way again.

**Posted by Supernova** September 8, 2024 9:32 pm

You're going to want what you can't have. I suppose the trick is to realize what you can't have is toxic. I get it though, I feel like my soon to be exwife is burned into my mind and it's hard to look at other women in the same way I see my wife. Objectively she isn't anything special, but I still see her through the lens of my love for her and that makes her incredible attractive. I've been trying to focus on things I dislike about her appearance and personality while also reminding myself there is somebody else out there for me.

Last edited by Supernova (September 9, 2024 3:37 pm)

**Posted by HeldHostageInHerCloset** September 8, 2024 11:36 pm

Is she doing anything different, clothing, fitness, etc to attract women? It's a little different when she decides she's a "masc" or butch lesbian and starts bulking up and shaving (parts of) her head. It's quite the opposite effect.

**Posted by lily** September 9, 2024 2:16 am

if she's more sparky she might be romantically interested in a woman.

**Posted by Sonnet61** September 9, 2024 1:38 pm

@seansaywords

This is normal. This happened to me as well when my wife first told me she was gay. I think it was coming from a place of desperation for me? It was something that faded after a couple weeks. I don't know if it's exactly that you want what you can't have, or something else explains it - but I did ask my therapist about it and they confirmed they've seen it before.