OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Ex wearing "engagement" ring

**Posted by Anon 765** July 17, 2024 6:15 pm

Hello,

I bumped into my ex today unexpectedly. He's initiating divorce proceedings (legally separated) so he can get married to his boyfriend, He was wearing a ring on his right hand. Very uncharacteristic of him. I assume it was a gift from his fiancee. Ugh. it hurts.

Even though I know we are SO done for so many reasons. it still hurts to see him moving on so quickly. Blah.

Anon 765

**Posted by Blackie563** July 18, 2024 2:36 pm

Good advice. Its true, people don't magically get better. Someone who lies, cheats will continue to do so, gay or straight.

**Posted by Rob** July 19, 2024 8:41 am

You have to wonder what do any of their promises or rings even mean.

Thank God you no longer have to wonder if the words and symbols are true and fierce.

**Posted by Ordinary guy** July 19, 2024 1:11 pm

Rob wrote:
You have to wonder what do any of their promises or rings even mean.

Thank God you no longer have to wonder if the words and symbols are true and fierce.

So very true Rob.

**Posted by Anon 765** July 21, 2024 7:47 am

MJM017 wrote:
Quick rebounding usually means your former partner has the same emotional issues with another person as they did with you, regardless if he finally picked the right gender..

Wise words, and I have to continually remind myself of this. The face he is presenting to the world is "I'm so happy and all is good, I'm grateful for the long marriage I had, but look at me now! I'm my true self!"

There is certainly an element of truth in that, because he is actually living out of the closet. But there's absolutely no way he has resolved all of the emotional issues that kept him in the closet for decades.

And agreed - the best thing I can do is stay away, stop poking the festering wound, and focus on my own happiness. I know it will be another blow when the divorce that he is currently filing for comes through - somehow it feels more final than separation. But I think it will also feel liberating. The ties will be truly cut.

**Posted by Anon 765** July 21, 2024 7:49 am

Rob wrote:
if the words and symbols are true and fierce.

What a gift that would be, to be loved truly and fiercely! A part of me longs for that, and a part of me is terrified to trust again.

**Posted by Rob** July 25, 2024 7:07 am

Anon 765 wrote:
Rob wrote:
if the words and symbols are true and fierce.
What a gift that would be, to be loved truly and fiercely! A part of me longs for that, and a part of me is terrified to trust again.

For me I decided it was relative. My GX was uniquely evil and broken. And even if I loved again and they turned gay and dumped me..they couldn't possibly hurt me as much as my GX did. There are good moral people out there...this forum proves it. Do not let these spouses make you think you are the problem or that all people are like them. Both are untrue but they conditioned us with fear,uncertainty and doubt. There is a world outside their closet ...they are not Gods or supreme beings that the world revolves around. They do not control who could love us or who we give our love to.