OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I can't make a decision

**Posted by Lostperson** May 15, 2024 5:41 pm

MJM017 wrote:
Lostperson, I am really sorry you're going through this.

My late GIDXH also found another woman after I broke up with him. The weird thing is he had none of the things that usually push people into the closet. He was tall and imposing too. Any homophobic guy would have had a death wish to bully him for SSA.

I found everything overwhelming when I went through the divorce process. I stuck with what I absolutely had to to make the best and most rational decisions. The rest had to and could wait.

I sincerely hope all goes well for you.

Thank you for responding .My husband is in absolute denial ...I hope I'll stick to my decision and not get bullied to change it or stay in this marriage for the kids !!

**Posted by Lostperson** May 15, 2024 6:11 pm

MJM017 wrote:
I wanted to add my ex was a skillful manipulator. He could turn on/off the tears. He stopped threatening suicide (it was a monthly occurrence) when I called 911 for help for him. That someone has the nerve to fake this and make those who really need it wait a few minutes longer is reprehensible.

Codependency can sound like victim blaming on one hand but I think it describes a mindset that is developed under duress.

It's something close to Stockholm Syndrome where you over identify with the person who's causing your misery and ignore your own needs.

Oh wow! I think it's a different level of manipulation to turn tears on and off !! And at the end he moved on to be with someone !
I actually feel scared when his tone turns aggressive ...but tomorrow after I talk to the lawyer I'll hopefully know more about the best strategy legally !