I’m new to this forum, I stumbled across the podcast, it has helped me feel like I’m not suffering alone. I’ve been together with my husband for 10 years married for 8.  I heard it described through one of the podcasts as “pink flags.” My first pink flag was the first time I heard his voice, I thought I can’t do this he sounds gay. My best friend met him for the first time and she said he must be a metrosexual, I thought he was gay. I wrote it off as a metrosexual because why would he want to be with me? He was divorced and had the opportunity to stay single, even if he wanted to be in the closet. This is my biggest struggle, he has taken 10 great years away from me, he wanted a perfect cover and I believe he choose me for a reason. I really felt in the beginning I met my soulmate. He loved showing me off, but quickly I noticed he would barely kiss me, there were I love you’s,  but no passion or real affection, except groping. I kept righting it off, I’m overreacting. A few years into the relationship I found a text from a man asking “what color panties do you have on?”  I confronted him and was told that’s what guys do, I said not any I know! I found another message he sent, that he was looking to broaden his horizons the day I left for a work trip. The man asked him his shoe size for next time he comes around his jungle. He has made me believe I’m crazy, my life is consumed with this everyday. I love him and and have empathy for what he is going through. I’ve confronted him several times and he makes me think I’m crazy. I’ve shut down. I guess I would like to know my gut is right.