OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Pink towel & speedos

**Posted by Tara** July 1, 2023 4:38 pm

Several years ago I noticed he took our daughter’s hot pink towel to the gym every single time I washed it. I started putting it at the bottom of the stack of beach towels to test him and he still chose it. Are pink towels some kind of code or signal?

Also he wore speedos (the little kind) to swim laps at the Y but kept them hidden from me. (We live in the south and I’ve only ever seen gross old men wearing them at the Y and a group of very out, gay guys at the beach.)

He’s admitted he “struggles against same sex attraction” (he’s very religious), but insists these things have absolutely nothing to do with his sexuality.

Last edited by Tara (July 1, 2023 4:45 pm)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 1, 2023 5:36 pm

Tara wrote:
He’s admitted he “struggles against same sex attraction” (he’s very religious), but insists these things have absolutely nothing to do with his sexuality.

Keep watching, taking note of things Tara.

Same-sex attraction has everything to do with sexuality. You know it, he knows it, we know it

Elle

**Posted by Tara** July 1, 2023 5:50 pm

Our marriage is ending.. he’s still very religious and GID. I’m just mentally sorting through old weird things.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 1, 2023 6:25 pm

Tara I just want to fold you up in my arms and give you all the hugs you've missed out on.
I've just read your story. Actually not all of it. I got to where you were told to put yourself last and was too angry to read any more!

Elle

**Posted by Anon 765** July 1, 2023 7:01 pm

I'm sorry Tara. This is hard stuff. Try not to dwell too much on the past and figuring out all the "signs" you missed. It can make you crazy, and you have yourself to focus on now.

Wishing you the best,

Anon 765

**Posted by Anon2222** July 1, 2023 7:52 pm

The title of your story resonated with me. My gay-one day ex-husband also told me that his sexuality had nothing to do with me. I feel like this is such delusional thinking....

**Posted by Daryl** July 2, 2023 10:05 am

I read your post in Our Stories.

Regarding abuse - it's doesn't always mean physical.
Emotional abuse can wound one deeply, especially over time.

Watch out for people who tell you to put yourself last. They do not always have your best interests at heart.

I wish you well. Post as much as you need.

**Posted by Ordinary guy** July 2, 2023 11:30 am

It is genuinely sad that people get dragged into relationships with gay people due to their beliefs.No belief is more powerful than the truth. He is just a homosexual man who has admitted that he struggles with his same sex attraction instead of embracing it. I expect he genuinely thought it would go away or, that he could control it. It is just tragic for both of you.

**Posted by Tara** July 2, 2023 6:29 pm

You think the fact that sex was always in the dark, on the bed is related? I wanted spice.

He told me probably once a year he wished I’d cut my hair super short, “pixie” he called it. I never did bc I thought “he wants to run his fingers through my hair… like he’s having sex with a boy” although I’m 100% woman.

Just typing that out… if nothing else we were fucked from the beginning because of MY mind. I couldn’t get over knowing I was not really what he wanted.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 2, 2023 11:32 pm

Tara wrote:
You think the fact that sex was always in the dark, on the bed is related? I wanted spice.....

Actually Tara you could spend a thousand hours pondering and wondering and asking yourself questions. And will you ever know the answers...will you ever believe him if he said he was telling you the truth?

I had plenty of spice for 32 of my 38 years with A. He could give me spice, he could give other people spice so it wasn't me getting the spice it was him. It took me years to realise that

Elle