2022 was a fucked-up year

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Posted by Sam (Admin)
May 27, 2023 2:54 pm 		#161

Still Saturday here.... glad you could finally do it. I found that the uncertainty leading up to that step was far worse than the reality that came after. Good luck.

 
Posted by Grace1958
May 27, 2023 3:35 pm 		#162

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Saturday 27th May

I did it, yesterday I can say I left the r'ship that's been the cause of so much inner turmoil. For so many years.

It may not be fully over. There are still loose ends...i's to dot and t's to cross and I'm kind of in a no man's land still living out of a suitcase for perhaps another week (or less) but....I did it

Elle

How brave you are, Elle. Many kudos on making this choice for your wellbeing. 
 

 
Posted by Rob
May 29, 2023 1:58 pm 		#163

Steady on Elle, 

When my GX left  (with the kids for maximum hurt) it was like a load of bricks was physically lifted off my chest.     I never felt brave but I knew deep in my bones then it was the thing to do.    Now, years out if you put a gun to my head I would never go back to that life.

 

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
May 29, 2023 3:20 pm 		#164

Sam, Grace and Rob...thank you, I'm kinda numb. Like...a few years back it was so easy to tell the people closest to me what was happening, but I have all these not-so-close but should-be-told people in my life I care about that I will have to tell now and I don't want to leave it too late
Do I do it in a group message....2 groups, A's family and my circle....one by one?!! Because there are people who will be surprised/shocked by this.

E

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by Daryl
May 29, 2023 7:09 pm 		#165

That's a dilemma. One by one could take time, and word will spread while you're talking to someone else. Then there might be people who felt they should have known before someone else in the line. It sounds complicated.

Groups might work, if done by family, or at least in smaller, and more manageable groups. Whether it's in person or electronically, it might be best if you made a joint statement, maybe answered a few obvious questions about residences and timing of the legal matters, and then you both leave people to process this. Friends and other folks can reach you later to offer their support. You will know better than us how people may react. Tailor it as best you can.
 

Last edited by Daryl (May 29, 2023 7:10 pm)

“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
June 3, 2023 3:10 pm 		#166

I had been staying with my daughter to spend time with her before leaving for a new city, new life.

Well I am here! I flew in yesterday, picked up by my son. I feel safe, I feel loved, I have time to settle in with no pressure. Yesterday there were boxes everywhere....finding a place for this, a home for that and more to do, a budget to figure out, some pension stuff.....  but I have the rest of my life to do it

Elle

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by Abby
June 3, 2023 7:39 pm 		#167

Catch your breath and relax. It has been a long journey so take your time settling in. You've earned it.. 

Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 
Posted by lily
June 3, 2023 8:07 pm 		#168

oh congrats, Elle.  well done.

 
Posted by Rob
June 8, 2023 3:30 pm 		#169

An big e-hug for you Elle.   Safe that is a good word to describe it.    

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
June 8, 2023 4:39 pm 		#170

Y'know...I had years of feeling something was wrong, then knowing something definitely wasn't right, then an internal tornado of uncertainty, confusion and dread about my future. And gathering strength, resources and support...but then more indecision. Should I? Stay? Go?.

Now I've gone, left for a new life I still have the sparks of uncertainty and dread. It's a big world out there, and life is not as easy any more

Just my thoughts as I sit in the sun on a cool morning. I sent a budget of to my lawyer this morning at her request. What do I know about budgeting! Oh I did it okay but realised my life is scaled right down now, it's a good thing I have such a frugal outlook on life

E

KIA KAHA                       
 


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