2022 was a fucked-up year

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Posted by Ellexoh_nz
January 25, 2023 3:26 am 		#11

Blackie563 wrote:

..... I have had several second thoughts. .,..

 
Yip me too. I know the trap. Falling back into indecision and thinking there's nowhere else for me

Hopefully not this time

Elle

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by OutofHisCloset
January 25, 2023 9:34 am 		#12

I know this has been a long time coming for you.  I hope you can find a way out of the impasse that is acceptable to you.

 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
January 25, 2023 12:38 pm 		#13

OutofHisCloset wrote:

I know this has been a long time coming for you.  I hope you can find a way out of the impasse that is acceptable to you.

 

6 years since the email that kicked all this off. Yip OOHC....a long time. I felt....different when I woke this morning and I almost don't want to talk about it the feeling is so new and I'm afraid if I do it will disappear lol 
So I'm not telling anybody just yet except my support Forum

E
 

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by firefly
January 25, 2023 3:22 pm 		#14

I know this isn't an easy decision, and I am glad you have taken the time you needed to reach it.  I wish for peace for you today.

 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
January 25, 2023 7:32 pm 		#15

firefly wrote:

.,.  I wish for peace for you today.

 
Thank you Firefly

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
January 27, 2023 3:59 am 		#16

MJM017 wrote:

I'm glad you decided this. You will get information on your rights. That's always a positive. Hope it all works out, Elle.

 
MJ....today my son came round, he's having 'life' issues. I immediately went into mother-mode thinking "I can't drop this bombshell on him now"

Grrrrr...sigh

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by gwendolyn_C
January 27, 2023 9:57 am 		#17

Elle - I'm glad the call went well. What is a divorce counselor - lol!!!  I found my therapist by searching "Betrayal therapist." My therapy sessions have helped to keep me focused on what is best for me.  I am going through the divorce process, and I have had doubts. But remembering the disrespect and years of feeling lonely and unwanted has helped to keep the train moving. 

 
Posted by Abby
January 27, 2023 12:13 pm 		#18

Nor being aware of the laws where you live I wonder if the divorce counselor may be more like a mediator? As I recall, you have refer to him as your "partner" rather than "spouse" or "husband" and given indications that you never married him. Maybe the law will force you to wind your relation down by coming to agreements rather than the way it otherwise would handle a divorce?

I wish you (singular) all the best. 
 

Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
January 27, 2023 12:17 pm 		#19

gwendolyn_C wrote:

- I'm glad the call went well. What is a divorce counselor - lol!!!  I found my therapist by searching "Betrayal therapist."n My therapy sessions have helped to keep me focused on what is best for me.  I am going through the divorce process, and I have had doubts. But remembering the disrespect and years of feeling lonely and unwanted has helped to keep the train moving

 

Gwen... I think I'm beyond counseling these days. If anybody asked I'd talk but I've contained myself so well that nobody does and honestly I don't want to tell another stranger my story . And the lawyer I'm seeing on Monday doesn't need to know the ins and outs either so yeah....

What I woke up thinking this morning was that I have nowhere to go. When this all kicks off I have nowhere to go and no-one I'm certain would welcome me. I've never been on my own and while it's (kind of) exciting it scares me to the soles of my arthritic feet and I do believe I'll have to rely on the very person who fucked up my life to be magnanimous when I tell him I can't live like this anymore.

E

KIA KAHA                       
 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
January 27, 2023 12:35 pm 		#20

Abby wrote:

..... I wonder if the divorce counselor may be more like a mediator? As I recall, you have refer to him as your "partner" rather than "spouse" or "husband" and given indications that you never married him. Maybe the law will force you to wind your relation down by coming to agreements rather than the way it otherwise would handle a divorce?

Yes 38 years de facto. Hmm....that makes sense Abby, I hadn't thought of it in those terms. De facto is the same as marriage in principal but legally there must be differences.

(10 years ago... During an argument about him texting/emailing people...he yelled "if we won the lottery I'd give you all of it and just leave")
These days I'm not quite sure what his reaction will be, or how long this will take, will it be a drawn-out process, how awkward will it get?

Elle



 

KIA KAHA                       
 


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