OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Can't tell if these are red flags?

**Posted by Shh0406** December 27, 2022 8:16 pm

U truly pinpointed the alpha female in submissive men... when i read that i was like omg that is so true.. tries to do the dishes and cook better than me etc..

**Posted by Strugglingat30** March 21, 2023 2:48 pm

Any of these people saying to trust your gut or if he seems gay, he is gay simply do not know the things for sure they claim to be experts on. A couple years ago I was on this forum and I had gotten some support from some kind people, but others seemed to be still in a lot of pain. People who are in pain see the worst in others. I would know because I still do it. I still judge every man I’ve been with. No one on this forum can tell you if your partner is gay. I say one thing, giving and receiving oral does not sound gay. My advice from a non expert (myself) is to not spend too much time online trying to find help.

**Posted by lily** March 22, 2023 12:45 pm

Hi struggling at 30, I wonder why you make statements like 'people who are in pain see the worst in others'? What makes you think that? Personally that is not my experience, being in pain doesn't make me see the worst in others. If anything it means I get to see the best in others as they try and ease my pain. And those who do not, who see your pain as a weakness to exploit, well they don't look good whether you are in pain or not.

I also wish I'd listened to my gut instinct that something wasn't right with my ex instead of hanging in with him believing appearance over substance. believing the words he spoke not the feeling I was having so much trouble expressing.

Sadly, when I finally did listen to my gut, it was only to discover, down the road that not only was he gay he had been sleeping with men before he even met me.