OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / My Attorney decided to close her practice

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** December 2, 2022 11:39 am

I finally got enough gumption to proceed with a divorce. I retained a lawyer and completed all of the initial paperwork (including collecting financial statements). One week later, my attorney sends a notice that she is closing her practice and can't finish my divorce. She has recommended other Attorneys, but it felt like a big smack in the face! I was so sad yesterday but know everything happens for a reason. I am feeling better today and have already started the process to look for a new attorney that is budget-friendly! The roller coaster of emotions is tough but I'll take it one day at a time!

I just needed to vent (big SIGH)...

**Posted by Rob** December 2, 2022 1:29 pm

Oh so sorry, do you get your retainer back ?

Regardless, one way of looking at it is maybe she was not the final lawyer to ultimately end this season of your life. You want to do this once and make the settlement the best possible.

Wishing you gumption and stoicism.

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** December 2, 2022 2:05 pm

Rob - you are so right! This is how I am trying to view the unexpected change of plans. It will work out!
Yes, she will send a full refund!

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** December 6, 2022 10:56 am

Update: I'm feeling hopeful as I have set up interviews to retain a new Attorney. I'm taking it day by day as I try to appreciate the positives. My husband is a good Father and he's very hands-on. I pray he continues to show up for the children.

**Posted by Victo** December 7, 2022 1:28 pm

A divorce lawyer is like a cab driver.

You need someone to drive you across town. Ideally, you want to ride in a clean, spacious car that avoids traffic jams and gets you to where you want to go efficiently, safely, and inexpensively.

If the place you need to go is particularly rocky, you might need a more expensive ride with a more hardcore driver, but the effect is the same.

You just need someone to get you across town. They aren’t your friends. They are there to drive you, so try to pick the best cab driver for your needs and try not to let this add to your worry.

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** December 8, 2022 9:46 pm

Victor - this is good advice! I am looking for an efficient in law and cost cab driver! I hope to retain a new lawyer before Christmas.

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** December 12, 2022 9:32 am

Update: I have retained a new Attorney. I had my consultation on Friday, and the lawyer asked a simple question - what are your goals at the end of this divorce? By default, my answer included the desires of my husband - shared custody, a co-living arrangement for our children, and I let my husband live his closeted lifestyle. Sadly, my Attorney pointed out that I answered the question by starting with my husband's wants. Gosh, the mind games are real! I'm taking it day by day!

**Posted by Rob** December 12, 2022 2:29 pm

Gwendolyn,

Don't beat yourself up. Our default is to think about our kids and spouse before ourselves. It's a foreign thing to suddenly think about ourselves but necessary.. in your context the kids need a strong sane mom ..not one where the dad/husband is hurting and taking everything.

My GXs goal was her and her girlfriend would live in a giant house with both sets of children
..with no custody for me or the other soon to be ex husband. Neither would need to work..all would be paid for by me and the other husband till our deaths.
Yes I needed a lawyer.

Last edited by Rob (December 12, 2022 2:29 pm)

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** December 12, 2022 3:34 pm

Rob - so true! Thank you.