OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Personal Torment

**Posted by Victo** August 8, 2022 3:04 pm

I recommend anger.

I know it sounds bad. People are afraid of anger. They don’t understand it.

I was depressed for years after my marriage ended. And now, after several years, I’m embracing anger.

And it makes me feel a tiny little bit better and motivates me to date again.

Anger sounds awful, but it beats depression.

Calm acceptance is best, but I’m nowhere near that.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 8, 2022 3:13 pm

Victo wrote:
I recommend anger.......Calm acceptance is best, but I’m nowhere near that.

Anger does have its place yip

But you have to temper it, not let it take hold of and carry you away.

How are you Victo?

**Posted by Daryl** August 8, 2022 11:04 pm

Agreed, you can channel some forms of anger into something that propels you to make important changes you might normally shrink from. It's not a great place to live.

Last edited by Daryl (August 8, 2022 11:05 pm)

**Posted by Gloria** August 9, 2022 6:26 am

Victo, you are correct about anger

**Posted by Toward the Light** August 9, 2022 10:32 am

You are stronger than you know, Elle! The light in me sees the light in you. ❤️☀️🌷🙏🏾

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 9, 2022 1:33 pm

Toward the Light wrote:
You are stronger than you know, Elle! The light in me sees the light in you. ❤️☀️🌷🙏🏾

Thank you 😊 I feel stronger than I used to be

**Posted by Gloria** August 10, 2022 6:25 am

Elle, I am proud of you for being stronger. Please know that I am holding a good thought for you. Only you can make the decision to stay or leave. Take as much time as you need.

**Posted by Nita Jalkanen** August 10, 2022 9:02 am

Dear Personal Torment..... Gotta say, what you are asking for, is absolutely legitimate. Please do not feel that your anxiety is in any way your problem to fix. Please do not. This is not your problem - it is the other person being completely disrespectful. Put the problem squarely on your partner's shoulders, and Do Not take on the problem. You are asking for the most basic of respect. My two bits.

**Posted by Anon2222** August 10, 2022 5:26 pm

Thanks all.

I am doing a bit better today, which is nice. The last week was dark. I honestly just didn't want to be alive anymore. I have never felt that depressed before.

We have fought for the past couple days. I wish I could just rewind to when things were good and keep it there. At this point in time I would still seriously consider a MOM if he was open to it. Which makes me feel kinda pathetic. I have given everything to this marriage and it has been a real slap in the face to see I was the only one. It has left me feeling worthless, unlovable, disposable.

So....still unwillingly crawling through the process.

Currently shopping for a new coffee maker to make myself feel better. I have been slowly and systematically re-decorating the house to make it "mine". Still don't know how I'm going to afford the stupid thing...but at least the entire thing will be done in my own cat and dog motiff.

Last edited by Anon2222 (August 10, 2022 6:13 pm)

**Posted by lily** August 10, 2022 9:27 pm

Anon2222 wrote:
It has left me feeling worthless, unlovable, disposable.

okay so this is where the tough talk is needed - what you want is to be sitting here feeling my ex was the worthless, unlovable, disposable one and I am angry with him for making me feel like that about myself - the lying cow.

you will be fine. just remember that when you are hurting - you will be fine and it will happen faster than you thought.